I lost my daughter in August 2020. She battled since Feb 2017 with a cancerous brain tumour. She went through an emergency brain op then radiotherapy and chemo and we try believed she was winning but it returned. Another op and more chemo. She was told in March 2020 she had 3 months survival left. What has made it so hard for me is I had to say goodbye to her on March22nd as she went to try her last chemo in what we believed would be a calm environment at her dads in Shetland. She didn’t get the care I believed she was going to have and she was so unhappy that she wanted to leave to be back in my care…this trauma has had a massive effect on how I deal with it all. Her doctor and social worker were aware of what she reported to them and I am awaiting feedback as I’ve put in a formal complaint. I wasn’t allowed a say in her funeral despite caring for her all of her life I was expected to just turn up…my situation is thankfully unconventional but yes im struggling…its harder because of the coronavirus situation, I’m struggling with the arthritis as I’ve only ever depended on myself and living alone no partner to lean on. My daughter was my best friend we looked out for each other , shared happy and sad times so right now my life is empty.
I’m really sorry to hear about your daughter @SANNIE. It’s understandable to hear about the trauma you’re going through, this doesn’t sound easy at all. I can really hear that pain you’re feeling knowing that your daughter’s last chemo session wasn’t the care she was supposed to get.
You’ve been really brave to put in a formal complaint - keep us updated with how this goes.
I was wondering if you’re getting any other support outside of the community at the moment?
We have free counselling at Sue Ryder. If you’d like to find out more, you can head to our website.
Keep posting here whenever you need to, we’re here for you
Dear Sannie,
I’m so sorry you have had to go through this terrible time. Losing a child is the hardest thing we can go through and through such difficult circumstances.
You are brave in making a complaint and I hope you get the answer you need xx