Missing my daughter

My daughter died 3 weeks ago. It should not have happened. The attitude of health professionals to young women needs serious attention. She had a rare condition - thoracic endometriosis, that took way too long to diagnose. She was accused of taking drugs, told it was all in her head and generally dismissed for months, no, years. She had over 50 pneumothoraces, the last one killing her. She was 28 and leaves an identical twin, two brothers and despairing parents. To make it worse, she worked in an emergency department.


Hello @Fijigo,

I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, you have my deepest sympathies. There is no pain, or emptiness, as deep as the loss of your child, I’m edging ever closer to my sons 3 year anniversary, the pain is as raw as the when he died.
Try to take each minute, hour and day at a time, I found meditation helped to take me away from the pain for a while. If you can go for walks, or do something that keeps your mind busy. Ive done everything from painting rocks, crossword apps and crochet, to shamanic drumming and binge watching tv. The pain is still there but the company of these things helps me get from one moment to another, so maybe you could find something too. I call them mind numbing, because they numb my mind from the pain and loss.
Sending you much love and light, my heart goes out to you. Take good care x


Hi I am very sorry for your loss. I have list my daughter aged 24yrs early Dec 2023. There is nothing that prepares you as a mother. I am lost, alone now and with all this time on my hands. I am here if you would like to talk.

Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss too. It is the most awful thing isn’t it? My daughter has an identical twin, who is totally lost now, watching that and trying to support her is hard. I hope you are finding ways to care for yourself. I am going to go fo a sea dip shortly - I find the cold very helpful. I also meditate and distract myself with tasks. Yesterday I just cried all day. I got on my own nerves in the end!

We all have to find our own way through this I guess and I am pleased to connect with others in a similar position. xx

Morning :slightly_smiling_face:, yes it is the most awful thing. I can’t imagine how your daughter is coping but she has you and I’m sure you are doing an amazing job.
I too cried all day yesterday and hid my tears when a friend popped over for coffee. Not sure why I’m hiding my grief? I hope you enjoy your sea dip :slightly_smiling_face:. The sea scares me but thats another story :slightly_smiling_face:. Anyway your message really helped me so thank you and I’m here when ever you want to talk/share…

How have the last few days been? We shared the information about Freya’s celebration of life the other day. It’s still more than 2 weeks away. Yesterday my ‘cry rate’ was right down, I functioned out in the real world and the day was not too bad. Today, a different story altogether. It’s a topsy turvey process for sure.

I hope you’re ok. I find it feels ok to show my grief - I will often go from full on grizzling to laughter, knowing how much she would disapprove. I can imagine too what she would be saying. That way I know she will always be with me. I hope you are able to find some comfort from your memories too. Fiona x

Hi! How are you today? I have started to go through my daughters things. Very slowly I might add but its given me a lot of joy remembering her in certain outfits. I’m doing a little better but still have little cries when my brain reminds me of everything.
I’m going to her grave tomorrow. I feel more ready. She was my best friend.
It was cancer that took her…I’m not sure if I have said that. Its a cruel disease.
I know what you mean about knowing how our daughters would disapprove with things lol but it makes smile it the same way. Wishing you so much strength in the coming days. Thank you for taking the time to share. Donna x

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