Missing my dear husband

My husband passed away 4 days before christmas. He was ill, but i did not expect him to go when he did. I am haunted by having to perform CPR and not being able to save him. I think i am ok, and then out of the blue the tears well up for no apparent reason. Our son has a band and my husband and i used to go along to many of his gigs, we enjoyed every moment of them. I have not been since my husband passed away. On Saturday my son picked me up to go along with him to a gig. I was enjoying the music and coping ( i thought ) until they played Aerosmiths, Don’t wanna miss a thing. I could feel the tears welling and my friend saw this and came over to give me a hug, i was in bits. This happens out the blue on a regular basis, and i guess part of the grieving process. I miss him so so much.


I know what you mean l had to do CPR on my husband and watch them define him 3 times.
We were on holiday in Bridlington and they had to rush him to Scarborough. I can’t listen to any Bruce Springsteen songs without crying and l lost my husband in June.
My heart goes out to you as l know the pain is raw and if you are like me you are still in shock xxx


Thank you Jeanine, it’s still very early days for you too, it can take years to get some sort of normality in our lives. We’ll never get over the loss, so we just have to try and learn to live with it. Bless you lovey. X

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You are welcome o one knows what it’s like until they have to go through it, but we are all here for you. Xx

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@Maz250 & @Jeanine1
Love to you both.
Music can still have me in pieces even after over 11 months. Specific songs which either meant a lot to us or we loved dancing to together and the tears spring straight to my eyes.

I was lucky it was not me trying to do CPR as my Richard was not at home so can’t image how hard that must have been for you both.
Hugs and love
Karen xxx

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Thank you KarenF, i just take each day as it comes. It might seem silly, but i hug his photo everyday and give him a kiss, and chat to him. It makes me feel better. We all have to do what feels right for us to get us through the day. I work two days a week and as my job is full on i don"t have time to think of anything else while I’m there. This, i think has helped me to focus on something other than my grief fir a few hours. You take care lovey. Big hugs for you. Xx


That doesn’t sound silly at all to me. I talk to my Richard every day and write to him in my diary every night.
I think it’s helped me a lot to be busy to give my mind a break from grief. It’s still there waiting for us but having a break from it allows your strength to build up again I believe.
Karen xxx

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