I’m 37 and I’ve never lost anyone close to me in my family until now. My beloved grandad, who has always been a second father to me, passed away last month from a heart condition, due to medical issues which I can’t legally discuss about. I feel like a piece of me I’d gone forever and everyday is a personal Herculean effort to keep going. The night before he was laid to rest, I camped next to his open coffin so that he knew he wouldn’t be on his own in his home in his last night with us. I spent the night yapping to him about old times, happy memories and shared interests which we both had. It was the most beautiful night I had ever experienced and I feel so privileged to have done that. Now, that it’s been just over a month since he’s been gone, I miss him terribly and every time I call the house, I’d always expect my grandad to answer the phone and realise that he’s gone and it hurts like hell. I’m helping my auntie and uncle look after my grandma and they are all mourning my grandad in their own ways but I never thought losing someone who you’ve been so close to all your life and who’s given you unconditional love could be so hard and painful! I’m crying everyday and I can’t help it!
Oh your post really touched me, how wonderful you stayed with your grandads coffin before he was laid to rest, so lovely. It speaks volumes of how much you cared for him. So sorry you lost your grandad it sounds like you had a very deep and loving relationship. It is so cruel when you lose a loved one , the emotions you feel will be overwhelming, gut wrenching , beyond pain and exhausting.
I am glad you have joined this site , you will find so much help reading the many posts from people feeling exactly the same as you. I have been on here 5 months and it’s good to know everything I feel I can express and know everyone gets it, and I can say how I genuinely feel and others understand . It’s been so helpful to me and I hope it is to you.
I have just replied to someone called Dan1 who started a thread called PAIN as he has just lost his grandad to and is in so much pain. Maybe you two can communicate.
One month in, oh you have so much to go through ,it’s so early days, it is for me to, I lost my son. I feel beyond broken and yes crying everyday and I am not ashamed to say screaming and rocking in despair sometimes . You have to let the pain out when it comes, I think. Just be kind to yourself as well and try to be patient and keep talking. Take care jss
My Dad was so close to my two kids. He too was their hero. Along with my mam he had helped look after them while me and husband worked. He played football with my son, he took him to football matches, took both of them to karate classes and spent every summer holidays at the beach with them. They were both in their twenties when he died, nothing prepared them for the loss. Son went slightly off the rails after my dad died and it took quite a while for him to come to terms with the loss. But now he has two kids of his own and he has taken all the good things that his granda taught and showed him as a young boy and intends to make sure his boys share the same values. My husband said when our eldest grandson was born that he wanted to be as good a granda as my dad and he was but sadly was killed in an accident last year but he packed so much into that 9 months to hopefully have built a foundation.
What I am trying to say is when the time is right you will draw on all the values and experiences you shared with your granda and this will help to continue to shape your life in a good way.
What lovely words Sheila and so well put. Jss x