Hi Jackie It’s been nearly 4 months now since my husband died. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday and others I feel I’ve been on my own for ages! It’s a real roller coaster of emotions. This week I’ve visited two favourite places that we used to go frequently. I went with supportive friends but these “firsts” are hard. I imagined him there and it was so emotional to know we can never visit as a couple ever again. Today’s friend lost her husband six years ago and says she can now remember the lovely travels with her hubby and favourite places without the ache. She can “see” him there with fondness now and not feel so desperately sad. So it seems that there may be some light at the end or at the least on the journey through the tunnel! I was with my husband for over 50 years too. It’s such a hard and at times gut wrenching time xx
I’m six months down the grief path after my partner’s sudden death in September last year. We were together for 40 years. I would so upset and angry if anyone suggested I should be feeling better by now, which I’m not. You only lost your husband in February, how could you possibly be feeling better? Even with family support the pain, loss and sadness is unbearable at times as I’m sure you know. Take care.
Your timeline is very similar to mine , my husband died suddenly 18/9/25due to a heart attack.Take Care 
I am nearly five months in this grief storm after losing my husband to cancer.
I don’t find time heals I’m finding it forces me to realise I am now one and no longer a couple.
My life has changed dramatically.
I wake up and wonder how did this happen, I spend the day forcing myself to do things with the aim of finding my new normal, my new life, I go to bed knowing that tomorrow will be the same.
I have short periods when I feel reasonably settled and positive then in a flash the tears come again.
Tears for what we had that is no longer, tears for being alone, tears as to what the future holds, to see a future is often difficult.
Grief isn’t putting a plaster on and in a few days ripping it off and all is good all is healed.
Grief is such a deep personal experience which we all have to face as we have no choice.
Reading others messages on this site tells me what I am experiencing is normal, it’s horrible, it hurts but it’s normal.
So if we find ourselves crying, good, if we can’t face things, good, if we hide away for a few days, good we are all taking small steps this is how life is taking us on this path.
We all need time and there is no limit on time.
We are all in this ‘together’ we feel very alone yet we are not, we do have each other on this site. We really do.
I don’t know when, I’m not sure how though I do know I will get there.
Thank you everyone 
Hi Claudie
I recognise everything you’ve said. I thought spring coming would help but it’s making me reflect every day that better weather, spring bulbs growing, a bit more sunshine although lovely in themselves just remind me that I can’t share any of this with the one I really want to talk to. And I’ll never be able to do the little things like chat about the birds in the garden over morning coffee together that you take for granted but miss so terribly. But on we must go at our own pace and in our own time xxx
5 months for me. Even now I cry every single day. Something will remind me of something, a song on the radio! This morning I woke up crying after dreaming about him! He used to sit in the garden with our old Labrador drinking tea. Sadly our dog followed him in January! Our lovely home felt like a house rather than a place of comfort! I have recently adopted a puppy 
. It’s helped because it’s given me a purpose again. I have to get up, I have to go out and take him for a walk and he has brought some life back into my life. I still haven’t sorted through any of my husband’s things! His dressing gown is still hanging on our bedroom door and his gardening coat is hanging on the peg in the conservatory! Nails still loose in his pocket and bits of string (because you just never know when you might need it!) along with his gloves! These two items I think will always remain exactly where they are I think because they bring me comfort. I have a wonderful family and they do keep me going but even though I have my days filled with visits and outings and dog walks, it’s still so very very empty. But life carries on regardless and I know one day that the play acting I do daily to show everyone I’m ok, will be less of an act
. I wish every single person going through this at all the different stages, my heart felt condolences and sending virtual hugs to you all 
I also lost my elderly dog 5 months after losing my husband it was tough .i do have a younger dog who is 15 months old and has kept me going. I to go for walks with my dog , I have a good support from my family and friend. I do get so lonely though. Good luck with your puppy.
Hi Brown Bear and Sherbet I hope you enjoy time with your dogs. I talk to the cat all the time! I had a bit of a melt down this morning but have recovered equilibrium. It’s so unexpected how odd things can set you off. I’ve invited a couple of very good friends for dinner tonight. I miss cooking. It’s quite hard to cook for one and too easy to just make a sandwich instead. The dogs will get you out and about for walks which is really good 
Thank you Sherbet, yes I still feel lonely. I think we all have a hole that will never be filled! But as with you it just gives us some purpose which I definitely lost. And they are such good comfort. He’s going through the zoomies and the bitey stage so keeping me on my toes! I’m sure he’ll be worth it in the end. Again thanks to you for your best wishes.
Good for you Joannie, enjoy your evening
. I used to love cooking too but honestly haven’t yet found my way back to it. I am putting in some effort now that I’m walking again, and trying to make some homemade healthy meals rather than just convenience. Your cat is absolutely adorable 
they are such good companions!
My dog is passed the bites stage , He sometimes does zooms . Most doggy people are lovely, always ready for a chat. I some time take my dog with me to a dog friendly cafe . As you don’t feel so alone when you have your dog with you . Look after your self .
Thanks again Sherbet! Yes I take Barney to a dog friendly country pub when I go out for lunch with family. He loves it gets so much fuss and it’s good to socialise him. Definitely a conversation starter! Life would definitely be harder than it already feels without our faithful companions.
Aw what a beautiful companion to have
Lovely picture of your cat, I hope you enjoy your meal with your friends tonight. It’s so hard doing meals for one , I have started doing batch cooking, and freezing the potions. Look after your self
Batch cooking is a good idea actually. Never really thought about it for myself before but I think it would help and more economical. Thanks again Sherbet. Goodnight to you all