You take care too Ann xx
Hi Jen,
I lost my husband of 10 years in May, 2020. His birthday is today and we had a Celebration if Andys life party yesterday.
Apart from all day crying and sleeping i have not done anything. He is 40 today . Yeah 40, my love has gone. Our life is upside down, I am in pain all the time. I am lost and my heart has brojen in billion pieces trying to put them together. But i do not have strength. My shoulders are killing me so tired…
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Oh my goodness Nuran you sounds so very sad, my heart goes out to you. I do wish I could say something to comfort you. It is lovely you had a celebration of Andy’s life - sometimes you can feel very low after being with other people and then being alone again. Is there someone you can call to have a chat with? It might make you feel better if you talk to someone. It is early days for you and you will get some days that are better than others but hopefully you will find you are stronger than you think. It is the hardest thing losing a loved one. I didn’t know how I was going to get through but I found that taking it one day at a time helped me … wish I could make things better for you. Sending you big hugs xx
Hello Kate
You are not aware but your posts have given me such strength over the last couple of years. I lost my soul mate and the most lovely man that ever walked this earth. We had just 30 years together I always thought I would be the first to go as he was so strong and fit. But, alas the dreaded cancer got him. I miss him each and every day he was my reason for being. It is now over two years since I lost him. How do you cope ? How do you get through each day ? I am not the sort of person who sits at home feeling sorry for myself and I would never, ever tell my family how I am struggling. I have joined lots of groups ! Walking , bowling etc I volunteer at the local hospital but each day I return to a empty house where he should be. I am trying to stay strong for him as he would say, ‘ pull your boots up gal ‘
Thank you to you for your inspiration x
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Well Lost Soul, what lovely words you write. I’m flattered. 
How do I cope? That’s a question and a half. Like you I keep busy. I’m lucky enough to go out to work so that keeps me occupied and distracted for 5 days a week. I have my dogs, I read, I garden. You sound like you’re doing as well as you can, better than you think in fact. But we’re always going to have our moments, our dark moments. It’s right that we should Lost Soul. How can we not have those down times? Our wonderful men have left this life and it hurts. Damn, it hurts!
This morning the builder arrived to start my underfloor heating and floor tiles. I became so overwhelmed and it caught me by surprise. I had to get out of the house so took the dogs for a walk. As soon as I was out, the tears came, couldn’t hold them back. I needed my man so bad. I had to compose myself as didn’t want him to see I’d been crying.
Like you, I try to stay strong and most of the time I am. Thank you for your post and actually, with all the stuff you’re doing, I think you’re pretty inspirational yourself. Much love xx
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Thanks Jen10.
I just feel I am so unlucky in life but on the other hand lucky having my son xxx
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I really do feel your pain Nuran - life seems so unfair sometimes, but I guess all we can do is try and focus on the positive - our children are a blessing. I wish you and your son well with all my heart. You are stronger than you think. Take care xx
Many thanks Jen10.
First time since I lost Andy I met one of my friend today.
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That’s great news Nuran … small steps 
xx