Missing my Husband

My Husband Ray passed away just over a month ago, I miss him so much, he was my best friend, my soul mate, we did everything together, and I just feel so lost and lonely without him. I have got support from friends and family, but the only person I want to be with isnt here anymore.

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Hi Marion, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, it’s so hard especially at the beginning, unless you have been through it you have no idea how it feels, friends tend to think after about a month or so, that you should be over it, and can’t understand why you are still struggling, I know I cried every day at some point for at least 6 months, I found keeping really busy helped, stopped me thinking too much, of course Covid is making the situation mush worse because we can’t meet up with family and friends as we did before, hopefully being part of this site will help you, as there are so many people in the same situation, sending love xx

Hi Marion and Welcome. You are here now among friends who understand, because there is no substitute for knowing. A month is so little time to suffer such a loss. Try and be kind to yourself and look after yourself. It’s so easy to neglect our well being at such times. When someone like you comes on here it makes me realise how totally inadequate words can be. What can I say to you? The pain is overwhelming and your emotions are almost unbearable. I say ‘almost’ because we do find the strength, God knows how, but we do. Honest! And so will you. I lost my wife twenty months ago, and the pain comes back often. But it’s more bearable than it was and that initial dark cloud that hung over my head so long is beginning to disappear. Please come back and talk to us because you will find so many kind and understanding folk on here. You need comfort and support, and you seem to have that at home. Blessings. John.

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Thanyou for your support Jude. xxxx :heart:

Thankyou for your support jonathan. xxx

I lost my husband on the 6.8.20 2 days after my birthday I am so lost I only want to be with him.We did everything together. Can’t cope

Dear Sharon,
I know how you feel. I lost my lovely husband a couple of months ago and I am finding it hard to cope too. I have been reading posts on here and I see that we are not the only ones. Others say that we should just take each hour, then each day as it comes and we will gradually get through it. I am sorry I can’t help you more but I just wanted you to know that we care. I am new to this myself and it is horrible. Please don’t give up. I will look out for you on here. Please keep posting because there is a lot of great advice being given out and a lot of love. You are not alone.

Thank you it’s so hard I’m struggling he was only 52 years old so much to live for no time to say goodbye xx

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That’s awful that he was so young. I can understand why you feel extra sad as that is no age. I wish we could find the reason for this happening, but there doesn’t seem to be one, and that doesn’t help. Even if there was an illness, that is no excuse for such an early death and seems so unfair. I wonder why some people live to a really good age and others don’t. I get especially furious when I read that evil people, murderers and so on, live to old age. Where is the justice in that? Sorry, I seem to have got on my high horse a bit.
Try to stay strong. I hope you have family and friends to look after you and help you. We on here will always be here for you. I send hugs. Ann

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Hi. Ann. We asks questions because we are somewhat bewildered and lost. But we ask unanswerable questions. No one really knows the whys and wherefores, and we can do ourselves a mischief if we dwell on it. It’s life Ann, just as is birth. We can’t have one without the other it seems. I don’t believe anything or any one dies. It just takes another form. But I don’t expect everyone to believe that. It’s a long hard painful road we are on. But after over twenty months I find the light in the distance has got a little brighter and closer. None of us can ever forget, but we can, maybe, look ahead. What’s the alternative? Despair? That is a very self defeating emotion. I know just how you feel about thieves and murderers living to old age. Life is unfair, but should we expect it to be otherwise? We live in a world of opposites. Where there is good there will also be bad.
Take care. John.

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Hi. Sharon and Welcome. It’s so very early for you to even think about how to cope or the future. Your emotions are raw and you are fragile. You will cope. honest you will. We all feel at first that it will not be possible, but we plod on. We have to, and I am sure it’s what our loved ones would have wanted. For some time the pain will be there, but let emotions come as they surely will. I am so very sorry you have had to come on here. None of us wants to be here, but I have learned so much being here and have made many friends who understand. Thank God sites like this are available. Understanding is what we all need, but I am afraid it’s in short supply outside.
Try and look after yourself. It’s so easy in bereavement to let oneself go. Bless you and take care. John.