Missing my husband.

Tomorrow it will be a year since Peter passed away from pneumonia and covid. We had been married for 32 yes and together for 40. I thought I might have been feeling better everyone else thinks I should but I don’t if anything I feel worse, we have 2 sons who have partners and kids and work and they expect me to get on with life but I can’t. The only thing that keeps me going and get me out of the house is my 4 border collie dogs. I come on here often but its the first time I have posted. It helps to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.


Hi Jen, you are certainly not alone, it amazes me how many people think oh it’s been a year, they will have got over it by now, and expect you to be back to normal, it happened to me, the first anniversary of his death, I decided to go away and stay with my daughter and family, the biggest mistake I could have made, as they carried on as normal, and all I wanted to do was sit and cry, over the years it has got easier, but you never forget, you just learn to live with it, sending love and hugs Jude xx

Sending you lots of love it is just over two years since I lost my husband we were only married two weeks and he passed away from pancreatic cancer and know you don’t have to feel better it takes a long time and people grief in different ways I struggle everyday without him . People expect you just to get on with life it is not that easy so don’t beat yourself up we are all different and family need to understand that I am glad you have your dogs to keep you busy I am thinking of getting a dog because it will then get me out . Sending you a virtual hug x

My dogs were the main reason I got up in the morning, I live close to the woods, and I’d walk them every day with tears pouring down my face, it’s so hard and unless you have been through it I don’t think people have any idea what it is like x

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No they don’t everyone is there when it happens then they disappear I have cried every day since losing him .it is very hard I am here if you need a chat x

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How right you are Bev my friends texted and phoned a lot after Peter died now I haven’t heard from either of them since Christmas they both have husbands who are alive and I just don’t feel as close to them as I did. I don’t know if they just don’t know what to say to me. Tomorrow our son is doing an afternoon tea for me and his brother and stepsister to remember Peter as its a year since he died I know its a lovely thought but I don’t feel like going. The kids will be running around laughing and playing and I shall just feel dead inside.

Thank you jude for your kind words. The dogs are my reason for getting up they can be handful and naughty but they have been here for me when friends have not. I don’t blame my friends they probably don’t know what to say so don’t bother to even text me anymore. Everyone seems to be out enjoying the lovely weather but I just can’t. The garden needs mowing but I just can’t be bothered. Have just got probate through to sell my husbands bungalow a place he loved and now its got to go the estate agent rang to say what wonderful news about the probate and I was rude and said no it isn’t I don’t want to get rid of something that was a part of him. Our sons are quite happy to throw most of his stuff and work papers that he wanted me to keep but I haven’t got a big enough place to store it. It will just feel as though he never existed when its all gone. Of course they loved their dad but don’t seem to understand how I feel guilty that I can’t keep his things.

I understand that it’s very hard when you were a couple but now only a one I have grandkids and they always make me smile they are so innocent they just want to make you happy it will be nice and hard to remember the memories you all had of your husband Peter I am always here if you need a chat x