I just received long-awaited news yesterday where I will officially be graduating from my Master’s studies at the end of this year. Somehow it feels bittersweet, as this month marks the 2 years anniversary of my beloved dad’s sudden death in a car accident on 29/08/2024. This milestone was something my dad and I had talked about often. He had always been my biggest supporter and proudly sharing my achievements with his friends. However, my life has been forever changed since his passing.. I grieve him as deeply as I loved him when he was alive. I know this grief will be with me as long as I am living and of course I wanna keep going in making him proud but.. to continue achieving milestones without my dad is absolutely hurting me as well.. I miss him every now and again 
love you dad, my role forever model 
Hello @emmaams,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I can imagine it must feel incredibly bittersweet finding out that you’ll be graduating from your Master’s studies at the end of this year, while the second anniversary of your dad’s death is this month. Having to go through certain milestones without your loved one can be incredibly painful. It sounds like your dad was your role model, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to get through these while grieving.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Loss as a young adult category yet. But there you can connect with other members who experienced the loss of their parent and who will understand some of what you’re going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
-
Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
-
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
-
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Hello Emmaams
Firstly, I send you my condolences on the passing of your beloved dad. Losing a loved one is difficult enough, but it is so heartbreaking for you. I can sense the deep grief through your words.
Congratulations on your Masters Studies that you have obviously been working hard on. I agree with you that it is such a bittersweet conflicting emotional time for you. Your lovely dad, your biggest supporter and so proud of your achievements, not being at the ceremony.
I don’t know your beliefs and I have suffered a terrible loss recently too, but I am certain that your dad is always with you and he will be there alongside you on your graduation. When you love a parent so deeply, nothing can separate you both.
Keep making your dad proud as you always have done. God bless and sending you all my warmest wishes Stephen.
Hi Stephen, I am so sorry for your terrible loss recently.. and thank you so much for taking your time by reading my grief story and replying to me with the warmest messages and wishes. I believe that you are absolutely a kind and a blessed one.
I would say that my belief perspective is something I truly appreciated most from my late dad because he was the one I had shared mine with the most. He was literally my spiritual anchor and my calm in every storm. I had thought then (when he was around) that he would be the last person I would wanna see and talk to before I closed my eyes forever (if I’d died early in my life). He is definitely my greatest teacher on how to live in this world based on how he carried himself throughout his 65 years of life, especially in the significant character developments I witnessed in his last 10 years.. his beautiful soul -composed, insightful, moderate, selfless and wise- makes me want to keep living to the fullest even without him 
Anyway Stephen, would you mind to share your terrible loss? I would love to hear yours
Hello emmaams.
Thank you for your kind message. It is lovely to hear about your beloved dad.
My mum was 82 when she passed away. Dad passed away 9 years ago and that left me and mam. I lived with my mam and dad all my life. When mum passed away , we had been together 60 and a half years. They were such wonderful parents.
My mam had memory issues for the last three and a bit years. I went through the GP and memory team and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease about two years ago. She was prescribed medication which helped. I always cared for mam and dad as they cared for me all my life.
However, mam needed more care from me with her Alzheimer’s. She was doing well. She always knew me and we were each other’s world.
In February mam had to go in hospital. She was in nearly 3 weeks. I went every day and was with mam from 9.00am until 9.00pm. I made sure mam was comfortable and not anxious. I could sit and chat to her and explain when the doctors came in. I used to sit holding her hand. The hospital were good. I even got a dinner and tea every day.
Mam went in with bowel problems. They did scans and said she hadn’t a blockage which was good. After a week an a half they did more and this time said she had a blockage in her small bowel.
The consultant came and said there were a couple of things they could do to sort it out. They tried both but both were unsuccessful. He came back and said they would not operate because of mam’s age, her Alzheimer’s and her COPD. I asked them to try again and they did, but no success.
He said they would make mum comfortable. Mum loved our home and our little world and routine. With my pushing within a day and a half, mum was back home where we both wanted to be. She was under palliative care.
I was happy she was home. The next day the 14th of March was mam’s 82nd birthday. Normally we had a different routine for our birthdays but I couldn’t do it then.
So I gave mam her birthday cards. I let her open them a bit, that was all she could manage and then I opened them and read them to her.
I forgot to say mam had a NHS bed put in our dining room. Mam didn’t feel like opening her presents. I did open them with her later.
The district nurses came twice a day and made sure mam was comfortable. I sat as always at the side of her.
On Saturday the 21st of March, 9 days after coming home mam passed away at 11.45am. I was sat with here. Her hands were cold earlier in the morning, so I put them under the duvet. I was stroking mam’s hair and forehead at the time it happened.
So heartbreaking. I miss her so much. Her love and her compassion. She was always smiling. I never heard her complain. She used to worry about me and say: Stephen are you okay? I would say yes mam thanks. If you are okay, I am okay.
In the hospital after the consultant told me they could not operate. I was so sad. I held mam’s hand and started crying. She put both her hands on my face and head and said Stephen, don’t cry it will all be alright.
I won’t keep adding stuff about how much we loved each other but she used to like music and me singing to her. One of her favourites was Rick Astley. Together Forever. Have you heard it? I sang that to mam many times particularly those 9 days.
God bless and sending you all my warmest wishes and kindest regards. Stephen
Stephen, your relationship with your mam was so beautiful, yet it was heartbreaking moment when you took care of her during the last 9 days.. God bless you for the caring and kind service to your mam. She was loved by you and you are loved by her. You guys are the best mom and the best son to each other. So many things I can learn from your stories with her.
I still have my mom, she is 69 this year. She has been unwell since a minor stroke in 2016. In 2024, she was also involved in the car incident with my late dad. Gratefully, she survived. Yet, she is terribly grieving. She often wonders why she was not taken with him, since she has always been the sick one and not her husband who was always healthier and more active.
My mom is currently being cared for by my youngest sister and my youngest brother at our hometown. I just started working again since April after quitting my previous job in December 2025, and taking 3 months off earlier this year to care for her back home.
Externally, I am doing okay.. but internally I am still grieving especially when I think of my mom’s fragility. I somehow know she may not live much longer. She keeps praying that she will pass easily and not live to an age where becomes bedridden and a burden to her children.
To imagine my life without my mom -because I am only 31 this year- would devastate me even more. I wanna live longer and do my things -career longevity & further PhD studies & serving nation & maybe build my own family- while my parents are still around.
However, my dad passed away in my late 20s, and my mom seems unlikely to grow old and she often tells me, “Emma, you are going to be okay.. you will keep achieving your milestones even when I am not around. Mom always prays that you will be surrounded by kind people who love you.”
This breaks my heart. But I also don’t wanna be selfish by wishing she endures her pain any longer than she is able to.
All in all, I really hope she will be able to attend my graduation ceremony this November, because having her there -as a mom and the love of my late dad’s life- in my biggest moment is what I want the most right now.
Anyway, was there any precious moment with you late mom that you treasure most before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease?
Sending you my warmest wishes and prayers. Emma.
Hello Emmaams.
Thank you for your reply. I am sorry to hear your mum is unwell. It must be so hard for her as you say. Grieving her beloved husband.
It is good that your siblings are able to care for your mum back home. I know you did too. I hope you are finding your new job rewarding. I don’t work. I took early retirement from teaching in April 2021 although I had been unofficially retired since January 2020.
It helped because I had illness but also I was there with mam. Obviously I was there every day for 60 plus years as well. My point is that your work will be a good distraction for you. I know you won’t forget while you are working, but it focuses your mind on other things.
I truly believe and hope that your wonderful mum will be there for your graduation later in the year.
Memories of mam. So many in 60 years and living together. The good thing is that unlike what people hear about Alzheimer’s disease, mam was doing fantastically well. She was on a daily tablet for her Alzheimer’s and tablets for her anxiety.
Mam could hold conversations. She was mobile. She did housework. We went away six times a year. She had a wonderful sense of humour and a beautiful smile.
There were times sometimes once a day and sometimes less when she would sundown. It is just a term for getting a bit confused. I read all about the disease and emailed Dementia UK nurses regularly, so i was well equipped to help mam.
After a couple of hours, mam was her usual self. It happens with dementia and Alzheimer’s.
One memory of recent times is when I used to dress mam on a morning. Mam had a wash. When I dressed her I put her perfume, body spray and deodorant on. Mam dressed a certain way. She wore black trousers, always a vest, jumper and a body warmer even in Summer.
I sat mam on the arm of the settee while I dressed her. The last job was to put her body warmer on and zip it up. Every morning while I was doing this she used to put her head on my shoulder and say: I love you Stephen and always replied: I love you too mam.
She was so gentle and caring. Then I used to get her in her armchair. I brushed her hair and styled it with gel and then put her moisturiser on and finished by putting her earrings in for her.
These are all memories, but I feel sad just thinking about them as I write.
When I did my degrees, I went to Leeds and Sheffield Universities, I got a bursary and the education was free so I was lucky. I say that because if it was still free I would like to do more education wise.
Sending you all my blessings and kindest regards. Best wishes. Stephen.