I thought I replied to you but I didn’t put your name in, but was for you: hope you read it and be gentle with yourself. These waves are huge and scary and you feel like you are going to drown. Go with them and then you can come up for air when they break. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and the pain is massive. I miss my mum so much and some days it still doesn’t feel real. It’s a wonder we all still stand when so many of us share this pain of losing someone we love so much. 
Hi @Bunni
I can’t thank you enough for your words,I know exactly what you mean, it’s just so much harder than I ever imagined. I lost my dad about 7 years ago through dementia which he had for 7 years so from that moment on my mam and I grew so close, I also live alone and we did a lot together. Sending you hugs 
here’s to better days 
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Hi, glad that helped even a little. I get you. My dad died when I was 11and from then on my mum and I became super close from then on. I think also realising you are an orphan, even as an adult is so horrible. Losing our connection seems so final and that too is hard to accept.
It’s so hard 
I can’t imagine what it must be like losing a parent to dementia, that must have been super hard
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It was so hard but unfortunately the loss of my mam is a thousand times harder. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love my dad, I really did but after he died is when me and my mam become so much closer
Xx
@Pixiecat I’m so sorry and I get it with your mum. My dad died when I was 11 so the relationship I had with my mum was incredibly special. Mum’s are special. After being so up yesterday, I can feel another wave coming. God, this is trying and I’m already struggling with will I feel happiness again. My husband moved more things from our home today which I think has affected me and shown how alone I am.
@leuj I’m so sorry you have experienced this too. It’s so hard. I’m feeling very down today, but had a couple of good days, but back to feeling so sad again. It’s so exhausting and the waves of pain are relentless. I send you love and strength and we are all here for each other
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Hi @Bunni
Your absolutely right Mum’s are so precious and that’s we we are in so much pain. Im glad you had a better day and you’ll have others, I had a massive wave earlier today but ok-ish now
Don’t be too hard on yourself about your husband moving things out of the house, I remember when I went through it, it was devastating, and your grieving as well.
You are doing so well, its a day at a time, take care xx
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@Bunni
I am sorry for your loss. I too lost my mum in 2022. I have felt lost ever since. I miss her more every day. I have days when I can’t do anything but dwell on the past and what I have lost. I also know that she lives on in me and she would expect me to have the strength to keep going and enjoy my life. She is with me always and through me she lives. I don’t think the pain of losing a mother ever goes away but she hasn’t truly left. Take care. X
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@Jayleigh i’m just permanently sad and miss my mum so much. I have lost everything of importance in my life and struggle to know my purpose everyday. It’s so painful and sometimes I cant see feb light. I know I had some okay days last week, but now I’m back in that dark sad place again. I have never known life without her and it’s so hard
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Thanks for your words. Mums death was unexpected. Dad was given a week to live and died from vascular and lewy body dementia.
I know this too well. Dementia is a horrible disease 
@Bunni
The pain will never go away. It just gets easier to bear. But it’s always there. No one prepares you for losing your mum. The one person who was constantly there for you. But you have her strength too. She is a part of you and she wouldn’t want to see you sad. She made you who you are. I have dark days and had really dark days when mum first died but I can also find times when I remember her with joy and notice things she would love to see. I talk to her everyday. Be kind to yourself during this time. The dark days will become less dark and the brightness of your mum’s love will shine through.
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@Jayleigh thank. You and sorry you have had to go through this. My pattern is that I am ok for few days and then all I do is lie in bed and feel so sad and don’t want to see anyone. I’m still caring for my stepdad who lives 2 hours away and see him every few weeks. My husband has left me and I just feel I have no one now that my mum has died.
Tomorrow I hope I can get up shower and do some things. It’s so exhausting. I’m sue to go back to work soon, but that has all changed too and I’m anxious about the new changes and having to hot desk. My world has no stability now, which I am finding hard.