Missing my mum and feeling so sad

My mum died unexpectedly in December 2023. I am not coping well at all.
My life has totally fallen apart. Going through a divorce, caring for my stepdad and have no siblings.
She was my everything and now I’d not feel I belong anywhere.
I am constantly tired, unmotivated and want to be on my own. I’m having to deal with all the practical things and I find that exhausting. I’m still off work but will need to go back soon, but not sure how I will cope.
I just miss her so much and I’m scared I’ll never be happy again as she was my world.
I feel like wading through treacle. I cry. I just want to be in bed everyday and scroll and try and forget.
I used to be such a productive person and found sitting down hard. Now I don’t/can’t find the zest for anything.
I’m lonely when I’m with friends and just long to be home alone again.
I miss my old life with my mum and husband. Everything is changed.
Will this ever change???

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Hi @Bunni so sorry for your devastating loss. What you describe is the brutality of grief, everything you’ve shared is your response to the awful loss of your Mum. I can relate entirely with all that you’ve said. I lost my Mum suddenly and unexpectedly in January 23 so over a year ago now. I still feel a weight of sadness upon me but I am determined to find opportunities to feel something other than sorrow. Take each day as it comes and try to let things move forward. Eventually there’s a sense of acceptance but it takes time to adjust to the absence. For me it feels like a work in progress as I still miss my Mum everyday. Sending you best wishes, take care xx

Hi Bunni
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mam on 15th January and also struggling today but I have had a couple of ok days. The thing is about grief is it just suddenly knocks you off your feet and you’re left exhausted. You just hav to
You must
hope for a better day tomorrow. I just keep clinging on to the hope that some people have said to me "You’ll get there "
Unfortunately everybody’s journey is unique and there’s no quick fix.
Just look after yourself, eat, go for walks, and lots of rest. That’s enough for anyone.
Sending hugs :people_hugging:
Take care xx

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Hi, @Rosiepink thank you for taking the time to reply and I’m so sorry that you have also experienced this devastating loss. Thanks for letting me know it does get a little easier with time.
Sending you much love x

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Hi @Pixiecat thank you for taking the time to reply especially when you have just experienced this devastating loss too. I am so proud that you are managing to go for some walks, I wish I could pull myself together and do the same. I just feel so lonely all the time especially now going through a divorce and having no one now to comfort me.
I send you lots of love and strength to navigate this sad journey x

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time, I understand completely what you’ve mentioned as I lost my Mum in march last year so it’s coming up to a year next month, I find all my old feelings from the first few days of losing her coming back to surface it’s really hard!

I have also recently lost my partners Grandma on Thursday which has definitely opened old wounds! It’s so hard!

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Hi again I just want to tell you that I’ve also gone through a divorce although it was a long time ago now. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you at the moment grieving as well.
I’m still on my own but would just love someone to just put their arms around me and say it’s going to be ok.
Sending you all the very best :heart:

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Im so sorry for your recent loss and you’re experiencing the painful feelings of grief again. I really hope it won’t be as intense this time round
Thinking of you :heart:

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@Jess1
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and your partner’s Grandma especillay so close to the anniversary. It must be very painful.

@Jess1 hit reply too soon, sorry.
You must be feeling very emotional right now. Earlier today the pain of grief was so reminiscent to how I felt when my mum just died. It was so intense today. Feeling a bit better too and I hope that you find some moments of air to breathe soon.
Lots of love :heart:

It’s so hard going through both at the same time. I feel as though I have lost the two people in my life that knew me more than anyone. Seeing his things gone and knowing that I will be pack my mum’s things is just so sad. I’m feeling a bit better tonight, but earlier I was feeling like I did right when my mum died. It was so painful and raw.
I’m so sorry you went through your mum and divorce.
I think when your mum dies you just want someone to cuddle and love you. The one person I want to console me about my husband is my mum and the one I want to console about my mum is my husband :broken_heart:

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@Pixiecat you are still so early in your journey that it’s still so raw for you too. Sending you love and strength :heart:

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It has hit me quite hard as I so her like my own Grandma and me and my partner have been together a long time. But obviously I was a lot worse shen it came to losing my Mum.

I keep wondering what the point to all this pain and suffering is. When there’s horrible people out there with lives of riley! Doesn’t make sense does it.

I just assumed after us losing his Grandad and my Mum we would catch a break but obviously not.

I write to my mum sometimes and it helps, maybe you could do the same if you aren’t already. I also believe she is still around in another form but it is still so difficult x

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Hi there, I lost my mum unexpectedly in December 2023 too.
I am still trying to work out how she was here one minute, and gone the next.
Its like i am in a dream. The wading through treacle bit of you post, is you trying to find your own way without her.
Its hard and scary.
You never imagine life without your parent/s. My dad is my super hero and when he died nearly 4 years ago, it was expected. I struggle to this day, then to lose mum so suddenly makes me struggle more.
I think with my mum, it happened so fast, robbed of saying goodbye.
Now as i think is more or less the same for you, your trying to make sense of it all. I cant grieve for my mom, its like i am stuck.
I have siblings, but i am the outsider.
I have support from my husband and daughters.
Still at the end of it all, i cant get my head around losing here, knowing she isnt physically here anymore.

Hi, Im going through a similar thing but it was my dad i lost in November and i lost and my mum in 2022. Im also separated from my husband since February 2023 so its like life has totally fell apart. Your not alone and welcome to chat if you want to x

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Hi, I’m so sorry that you too are experiencing this. I was so low last week that I thought I would never be happy again. The waves of grief have calmed over the last couple of days and it’s nice having some respite before the next wave! I’m also here if you fancy a chat at anytime. We will get through this, slowly and being sad. X

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It comes in waves with me too, last week hasn’t been a good one feeling low and totally run down. Some days are ok but since sorting everything out i now feel lost of what to do and im so tired :tired_face: x

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The exhaustion is so tiring and you just have to go with it. I get overwhelmed with the amount that needs doing and to care for my stepdad too. We just have to take the tiny wins and give in to the waves. Little by little the sadness will diminish. Today I cried quite a few times but it didn’t send me into a spiral, a win. :cherry_blossom::hibiscus::sunny::heart:

Hi @Bunni
I’m so glad I’ve just read your post, its given me hope on the end of a massive wave that I’m slowly coming out of, take care and keep posting :heart:

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I was just like how you feel last last weekend and into Tuesday. My friend forced me out for. A walk and that really helped. I’m so unmotivated to do it on my own and too tired. The waves will keep coming, but there are some linger gaps between them now where I can catch my breath. I hope that you can find some calm water even just to tread gently for a while. The sadness can be overwhelming and we can’t see any light when we are there. But it does come and I/we need to remember this when it happens again. Sending you strength and hoping you find a little respite soon xx