I am having such a tough day today, crying, feeling so sad & emotional. My physical health is affected.
It has been a year since I lost my Mum, but today, it feels like it has just happened. Like a truck has just hit me!
My mum was in a nursing home, she had a fall & i was the one who had to persuade her to go to hospital to get checked out. She was only in there for a week & half & passed away. She had pneumonia, COPD, as well as others ailment. I feel so guilty sending her to hospital even though I know she needed to go. The guilt eats me up.
Don’t know why I am so low today, so I have reached out here fir some support.
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Hi Angel, I’m so sorry, I can feel the pain in your message.
The grief can overwhelm us at any time, for any reason. I’ve found myself an emotional wreck and missing my mum so much today which was triggered by something silly (a TV programme). I think our mums are always on our minds and certain things just bring out the emotion, sometimes when we least expect.
You will always miss your mum, it’s only natural with them being such a huge part of our lives. Please try not to feel guilty about her going into hospital, you did your very best for her at the time and you couldn’t possibly have known the outcome then.
I’m just reaching out to let you know you’re not alone, sending you love xx
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Hi Angel85, what would have happened if you hadn’t persuaded her to go and she passed away in a home, you would be feeling guilty then too because this is what we do when we are grieving, we blame ourselves. You mustn’t feel guilty about anything. I read in a grief book that guilt is anger turned on ourselves.
Anyone would have done the same in your position, you weren’t to know she would pass away. I lost my beautiful mum in April, she was steadily getting worse and we decided it best to go to a&e where she was admitted and passed away soon after. We knew she was ill but I didn’t expect that, I thought she would come home even if for a bit. As daughters with close relationships with mums, we do what we think is right for them. The rest is out of our hands! I feel so low and empty most days and feel that more could have been done to help her so I’m having to write to the hospital via PALS to get answers, which isn’t very nice to go through. X
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Hi Lucy7 & BarackObama,
Thank you so much for your support. It means so much and I don’t feel as if it’s just me experiencing these feelings.
I am sorry for both of your losses, as you say, losing our mums is so devastating and will never leave us. They are always in our hearts forever.
Here is such a forum for support & I truly appreciate yours. Thank you. 
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You are welcome although I wish none of us had to be in this club! xx
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Yes, don’t feel guilty. The fact that you persuaded her to go to hospital shows just how much you loved and cared for her. My mum passed in May aged 90 at the nursing home. She caught a chest infection and the Dr asked me if I wanted to send her to hospital, but I knew she was so fragile and it was probably in her best interests not to go, so she didn’t. Then her oxygen dropped and I’m sure that’s the reason why she passed, and I feel so guilty because I knew that oxygen could have possibly kept her going a bit longer, which the doctors didn’t provide her with. We all feel the guilt. But especially at the end of the day, when they have had a good long life, we have to know that we’ve tried our best and must never feel guilty. It’s not our fault. Just remember that she is not suffering now (although we, who are left, are!). She is still in spirit and is in your heart and will never leave you. And hopefully one day we will meet our mums again. I truly hope so. Big hugs. xxx
You are so welcome, any time. This site is such a comfort and you are part of the family now. We are all here for each other xx
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Thank you everyone. Having your support has helped me through a real bad day.
I am sorry to hear of all your losses. Your right, we all did our best & showed how much we loved our mums & always will.
Xx
Hi Angela 85,
I know exactly how you feel as I wish I had never taken my mum into hospital. I never thought in a million years she would end up on end of life care which is what happened. She was just being sick and I phoned 999 so she went into A and E . I was told she had a blockage in her small intestine and they couldn’t operate bec if her age. It was without a doubt the most horrendous experience of my life. I wish with all my heart I hadn’t phoned 999 and maybe she would have been ok bec they just starved her and she was only allowed water for almost three weeks.I took her home and then wait for it they said she could eat anything she liked. I tried everything in my power to get her better making all liquid meals etc but failed and she passed away after being home for two weeks.
Like you I am coming up to the first year anniversary and throughout the year my health and wellbeing has suffered in all sorts of ways. My confidence has been shattered, feel constantly miserable and sad,cry daily over anything that triggers me, and just generally lost my way.
Reach out on here whenever you want as we are all going through so much and understand
Thinking of you
Deborah x
Hi Deborah,
So sorry to hear what happened with your mum. As you said, we live with ‘if only’, ‘i wish’, but we can’t change anything now, only say to ourselves, we made decisions then for the best even though those were painful.
This is such a supportive family & I know it’s a journey we’d rather not be on, but let’s continue to be there for each other as we are.
Big hugs. X
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Hiya,
Just wish I could turn back time and do things so differently.
Yes this family on here is the best family I could ever wish for.
People on here truly understand and care for each other
Keep posting
Deborah x
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There’s been no messages in here for the last couple of weeks but reading your messages has given me some comfort. My beautiful Mum was in hospital on and off through August and September with 4 admissions. Mum will always be my best friend, it’s been a week today since she passed and today has been a difficult day. I’m not sure how long early grief is but something changed today, feeling a lot more upset and really lost.
Hi Universal
You will feel upset and lost for a very long time and it comes and goes Some days are better than others
Thinking of you
Deborah x
Same here. I’ve had a tough day today as well. Tonight feel so desolate and bereft. Missing my precious mum, my best friend so much too. Feel like bursting into tears. It’s just horrible without her. Horrible deep sadness inside and nothing makes you feel any different or better. Just can’t believe am never going to see her again. So glad I have found this site with others who truly understand.
x
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Thank you, I want to do my Mum proud and remember her but not get consumed with grief. I keep looking at people going about their days, some are looking so happy and I wonder if they’ve experienced life changing loss.
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Hi Di, I only joined this yesterday but I feel someone reading and hearing what I’ve said helps. I’m thinking of you and if you feel you need to cry then let it out if you can. I’m learning that grief is love in a different form but it’s really difficult to come to terms with.
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Hi Everyone,
I am sure we have all made our mum’s proud & will continue to do so. Going through grief & all that goes with it, is definitely another form of our strong love & bond we had/ have with our mums. Although it is so painful. Today it is one year, one month since my mum passed & I am feeling low & teary. The thought of not hearing her voice, her special laughter, seeing her, is breaking my heart.
I am also thinking of my dad, who passed 38yrs ago more now days.
The pain never leaves us.
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Sending you hugs on the anniversary. So difficult. xxx
Thank you.
It is 3am in the morning, can’t sleep, feel so low, upset, just want my mum. I miss her so so much.
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