Hi everyone i lost my mom just over 2 weeks ago to cancer.I don’t know how I’m meant to feel, I cried on the day she passed away at the hospital, but since then I feel guilty for getting on with my day to day routines. I’ve always been good at coping with stress compared to everyone else, but I can’t understand why I’m not a blubbering mess when I loved my mom dearly.Maybe it’s my brains way of keeping me sane. I also found out on the day she passed away that my partner of 24 years has a brain tumour maybe I’m in shock with it all and it will all hit me after my moms Funeral in a few weeks time
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So very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum just over 5 weeks ago, I was super strong organising the funeral and getting everything sorted. I had quiet moments of tears and distress. I can honestly say 2/3 days after the funeral it hit me like a ton of bricks. Loss and despair like I’ve never experienced before. I allow myself to just have the bad days and literally take it a day at a time. It’s not easy especially when we’ve had a close relationship with our mums. It’s important that we are kind to ourselves in this process x
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Hi yes I can really relate to your post,I lost my Mum five weeks ago today it is so overwhelming and painful an undescribable pain of loss that goes through to your heart.
I thought after the funeral that I would feel more peace,like you it was like a ton of bricks, struggling to get out of bed and the tears constantly flowing.
Yes allowing bad days is such good advice and taking every day as it comes.
What I have realised is that you can’t rush grief .
Sending lots of strength to you x❤️
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Hi I am so,so sorry to hear about your Mum,how are you feeling today? 
I am glad you posted so you know there are people on here who understand.
Everyone’s grief is different and that’s ok! However you grieve we all loved our Mum’s with all of our hearts and it hurts so much,even though we still cannot believe
Numbness is a natural protection when up against loss or trauma,you have had two big shocks and trying to keep busy may be your way of trying to deal with what has happened.
As the other poster wrote taking one day at a time is all we can do and be kind to yourself.
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@Shellybums and @OldOak47 thanks for your reply. I am sorry for both of your losses. I feel ok at the moment I’m just taking a day at a time, and I think it probably hasn’t hit me yet as I have so much to think about at the moment that I don’t allow myself time to sit in my own thoughts to much. I did sit and have a little cry last night as I was trying to pick a song for my mom’s funeral as myself and my 2 brothers are having a song each. As the days are getting nearer to the 12th of September for the funeral i’m dreading it. Things have also been made worse by the fact that my Step- dad my mom’s husband for over 35 years has decided he’s not paying for the funeral and we have to pay even though he has the money, he also hasn’t taken much of an interest in arranging things for the funeral to so we have the added pressure on top of everything else. I’m just so angry about that as well my mom devoted her life to him and he can’t even try to give her the send off she deserves, but at least we will try.
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It’s difficult when people you expect to help just don’t. I was angry at some people like my mum’s siblings who couldn’t even buy simple flowers for mum, then family members were telling us what we should and should not do but weren’t contributing at all in any way.
My two brothers and I organised and paid for it all between us and looking back I’m glad we did. We also did a eulogy/speech with just the three of us and chose the music, although people were critical of our choice, it got to a point where I didn’t care !
You give your mum the best possible send off you can, try not to worry about anyone else. This is your special tribute for your beautiful mum xxx sending you my bestest wishes and hugs x
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Thank you for your kind words yes I will give her the best send off I can x
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I am so sorry this is happening to you,with love and support you will get through the day, your precious Mum would be so proud of you giving her the day she deserves !
Myself and others understand the feelings of the build up to the funeral,one day at a time is all you can do. Sending a big hug to you x
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It sounds like you gave your beautiful Mum such a wonderful funeral and the courage you and your brother’s had to stand and speak which must have been so hard for you.Somehow we get through the day,it is so hard I miss my precious Mum so much x
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Im sorry for your loss my lovely mum passed 3 week ago very suddenly while she was away with dad we never got to say goodbye or tell her how much we love her guilt is eating me up i miss her so so much i went to the chappel of rest and put a letter in her hand but im so heartbroken and cry all the time it dont seem real it hurts so much
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Hi I know how hard this is for you, sending you and your Dad healing and lots of strength.
The grief is powerful ,overwhelming and it is so so painful ! It is the price we pay for love!
Your precious Mum is now at peace and the way you are feeling shows just how much love you have for her and that will never go!
I am still struggling every single day, my beautiful Mum passed at the end of July I miss her so ,so much my heart hurts and the tears still flow!
We can only take it one day at a time ,lots of love to you X
Thankyou lots of love to you too xx
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Hi I know today is the day of your Mum’s funeral,I will be thinking of you like so many others on here,we have all been where you are and sending you all the strength you need
Your lovely Mum would be so proud of you.
It will be a tough day it is a process we all have to go through but you will get through it with love and support,your Mum will always in your heart and how lucky we are to have had such loving ,caring Mothers.
We miss them because we love them ,grief cannot be rushed.
Give your Mum that beautiful tribute, sending you so much love
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Thank you so much for thinking of me. Yes it was a very hard day but I managed to get through it and hopefully myself and my two brothers did her proud.The one nice thing to come out of the day was catching up cousins and other family I haven’t seen for a long time on my side of the family.
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I think it feels so nice to know you have honoured and remembered your loved one appropriately, and thanked them. Xx
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Mum died 9 weeks ago and my grief followed the same road as yours. No tears during the 4 weeks planning before her funeral. Then it came crashing down on me. I’ve never lost anybody I loved as much as I love Mum. I feel frozen in time. My house, and especially my bedroom, are filled with Mum’s belongings, but I can’t bear to look in the boxes. There’s paperwork I should deal with, but I can’t. I feel that if I do, then Mum will really be gone. Mum and I are Christians and believe there is an eternal heavenly life after an earthly death. My feelings of pain and sorrow are in conflict with the peace I know I should feel. I miss her so much.
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Your mum will never be gone, she will always be with you.the paperwork is not your mum. Her love will stay. So sorry for your loss xx
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Hi I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mum.I feel your pain and that emptiness.
Just take your time and look at the paperwork & boxes when you are ready ,is there someone who could be with you and help support you with these tasks ? You do not have to go through this alone!
Grief has no timeline.
I am sat here just weeping reading your message it hurts so much and it all feels so unbelievable.I miss my Mum terribly she passed at the end of July.I don’t know how I get through each day trying to find a’ new normal ’ somehow with love and support I do.
My family are Christians as well and our precious Mum’s are glorious in heaven in the arms of our God with no pain,suffering,sadness or disease,this is what I have to keep reminding myself.
Just take it day by day it is all we can do,be kind to yourself you are going through so much.
I have found just being outside even if it is for 10 mins helps.
I have signed up to the Sue Ryder text messages and they really help when I need it.
I remember and the end of one message it said ‘you miss her because you loved her’ how very true!
Sending lots of love and strength X❤️
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I’m so sorry for your loss sending you a hug 
I know what you mean you keep yourself occupied with the lead up to the funeral then it happens and you are like now what. I like you just miss my mom so much but don’t know how I’m meant to get on with life without her. I have a partner and 2 adult children that live with me both of which have serious mental health issues and as I have mentioned in a previous post my partner was diagnosed with a tumour on the day my mom passed. I feel like I need to be the strong one all the time as they all come to me for support but yet the person I use to go to for support my mom is now not here. I do find that being outside even if just in the garden if you have one helps especially with me as I know my mom also loved being in her garden pottering around with her plants 
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Thank you lovely people for your kind words of love and support. I’m sorry that you too are going through this sad season of grief. The sun is shining and I’m watching the birds on my feeding station, just as Mum used to love to do, and I feel her close to me. I will take your advice and go outside for a while later. Thank you again.
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