My beautiful mum, best friend and love of my life died 34 days ago after a horrific battle with brain and lung cancer. I cared for mum at home for the last 2 months of her life, as she lost her mobility, her ability to eat, talk and communicate. It was devastating seeing my mum slowly slip away as the cancer took hold. I was with her at the very end, holding her hand and stroking her hair, telling her how much I loved her and it was time for her to pass and finally be at peace. As mum took her last breath, my heart shattered into a million pieces and my life changed forever:broken_heart:
I miss my mum so very much, how will I ever move forward when I feel so much emotional and physical pain without her here
10 Likes
I’m so sorry. I know that moment, and you can’t go back. It feels so impossible and painful and unbelievable. You will be glad you were wuth her though, as I was. It’s the last loving thing you can do and hopefully it will eventually be a comfort to you. Sending love x
3 Likes
Hi
I cried when I read your post,I feel every bit of your pain,the grief is overwhelming,my situation is so,so similar to yours.
My beautiful loving Mum passed 30 days ago in the same way I could have written your post myself I cared for my Mum in the same way you did.
I am heartbroken,caring for your Mum is so special and I am sure she appreciated everything your did ,holding her hand brushing hair and feeding her,you were the best person to do that and she loved you for that.
All I can say is you are not alone and take it one day at a time.
Grief is the price we pay for love 
7 Likes
Thank you so much for your kind words
1 Like
Your reply has bought a tear to my eye, it was an absolute honour caring for my mum as it was for you. Thank you for sharing your experience too x
1 Like
I am glad we are not alone as I feel so lonely and lost.
Everyday is so hard and the tears just do not stop the pain is so raw. Even though we knew what was happening you do not actually believe it is going to happen.
Take comfort that you did your very best for your dear Mum it sounds like you had a beautiful bond as I did with my Mum and you will have lots of lovely memories to cherish.
Take care and sending you lots of love
3 Likes
Sending you lots of love and healing too, it’s a difficult time for us both but we owe it to ourselves and our mums to rebuild and make them proud. They are forever in our hearts
2 Likes
Thank you so much
my Mum’s burial and thanksgiving service at my parent’s church was only Thursday ,she was so loved !
I struggled and wept so much and I feel I haven’t stopped.
I have alot of flashbacks,of that night my Mum passed,I’m not sure if you have had that at all? Friends have told me in time that will fade.
Yes you are right we both need to heal,in time our sadness will part and make way for all of the happy memories we have of our precious Mum’s and we will smile like they would want us to!
I don’t think we will ever get over this pain of losing our Mum’s we will just find a way to adjust somehow,at the moment grief is a full time job.
I am so glad I read your post and others. It does make you feel not so alone when you see that other people are going through the same thing as you and the kind words people write.
I am sending you the biggest hug and all the strength you need X
3 Likes
I am so sorry you have gone through this too! Yes it is so painful and you are so right when you say it feels unbelievable it really does,such a loving caring thing to do for our Mum’s.
I am finding grief is a full time job.
Sending you lots of love
3 Likes
Thank you so much. Lots of love to you too. No-one should have to feel like this but it does help to know others understand. We were at least lucky to have such precious people in our lives, to have such wonderful mums. A lot of people don’t have that. I do feel she is always a part of me, wherever I am. X
3 Likes
Thank you ,you are so right,it does help to know we are not alone and others do get our pain and heart break.
Once the business stops of people visiting,carers, organising of the funeral the loneliness sets in and is so powerful.
I am sure you can relate as some days you just walk around not knowing what to do and the grief is overwhelming!
Grief is just love with no place to go
We do need to remind ourselves our precious beautiful Mum’s will always be in our hearts and as you say she will forever be a part of you! In time I hope the sadness will make way for the happy memories!
Sending you so much comfort and love x
3 Likes
Hi yes I lost my beautiful mum last November. I was her carer and was with her till her final day. Brushing her hair keeping her comfortable.
Still getting flashbacks waiting on grief counselling. I dont think ill ever get over it.
Love to you
4 Likes
Thankbyou. You’re right, I liked to do nice things for mum or tell her stuff, and now I can’t and it really hurts. I do feel lost in life really, and other tomes I have to remind myself it’s true. Sending love x
3 Likes
Hi everyone, I too lost my mum to cancer just over 1 year ago now, the anniversary has just passed. I am finding it incredibly difficult to cope still, I get the flashbacks of her last moments too, last night had them really bad suffering from insomnia, anxiety and depression. I was also caring for my mum like many of you, it was the best honour and I would do it over and over. I may start counselling soon as I didn’t feel up to it before. I don’t think it will ever go away, I’m not the same person as before, life has no meaning for me personally but I know I need to do something to make mum proud.
2 Likes
I know what you mean about the loss of meaning. I keep having a strange feeling of not being real myself, and the past was all leading to this point. It’s just my mind I know, but it’s unnerving and unreal.
2 Likes
How wonderful to do all the things you did for your beautiful Mum! How she must have loved you for doing those little things that meant so much to her,that she could not do herself.
Myself and my SIL washed my Mum’s hair in bed once a week with an inflatable basin as her mobility had gone.
My Mum’s speech and communication was deteriorating and she could only say a couple of words.I jokingly asked her if we would get any tips after washing her hair and she said no and laughed I then I said shall I stick to baking and she said yes and tried to smiled laugh again ( my Mum,my sil and I are big cake bakers, I learnt from the best) I brushed her hair gently and she said thank you.I will always, always remember that moment.
It is a month ago today my loving, precious Mother passed and the grief is so suffocating and the pain so raw,you are definitely not alone in your grief.
I still get the flashbacks as well,especially of the night she passed I have been told those moments do fade in time I hope they will for us all and we will in time remember the happy special memories we had.
I went to the Doctor and just wept she was so kind and gave me a grief counselling organisation to call when I am ready. That may be something that would help you too.
I don’t think we will ever get over the pain of losing our Mum’s ,we can only take it day by day and that’s ok! sending l you lots of love and strength
2 Likes
I get that at times too, I think to myself was that real life, was my mum actually real or my imagination of an angel in my life and now left empty. Sometimes I think she’s with me, other times I’m thinking what if there’s nothing. I close my eyes and try to think of the good things in my life and I honestly struggle a lot. One year on and I’m struggling as if it happened yesterday, but I am made to feel stupid by some people who think I should be over it now…
2 Likes
I completely understand how you feel and I am certain everyone on this post does too.Its ok not to be ok!
Even though you know what is going to happen,you still don’t actually think it is going to happen and when it does the grief is suffocating and pain like you have never experienced.
Your Mum would be so proud of you caring for her in the loving way you did,what a wonderful thing caring for our Mother’s it was our turn to look after them as they lovingly did to us.
I would also do it over and over Going day by day is the only way, Grief is love with no place to go
I miss my Mum so much and just want to hug her and hear her voice but I can’t.
Sending you love you all the strength you need X
4 Likes
Thanks for your kind words x
1 Like
No, you should not be over it just because some people say so. It shows the depth of your love which sadly matched the depth of your pain. I think and hope that one day you will start to feel better and remember the happiest times, but I don’t think that we will ever ‘get over’ it and nor should we, in the nicest way.
2 Likes