Oh thankyou . I am slowly getting help for my problems
But like you I have found life has changed in so many ways. It can be hard to accept this new reality. I hope I’m not alone in struggling with
feelings that are up , down and all over the place! I have heard of it as described as a grief-mess that you carry with you and have to slowly learn to live with, if that makes sense.!?
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O I’m so glad you are getting help as it’s tough enough. You’re definitely not alone, I’m so up and down…not even day to day but hour to hour I can go from feeling ok and coping to overwhelmed with sadness and just wanting my mum. Although in all honesty my biggest and most constant feeling is I want my mum. Grief-mess with probably sums it up. I want to believe that at some point in the future I will feel more glad I had my mum than sad I lost her. I hope that for everyone here too xx
Ah your mum was a trouper too 
She was amazing and coped with all sorts I don’t think she ever felt sorry for herself. Your mum sounds amazing too
I sort of feel like I want to honour her strength by being strong too but also not putting pressure on myself as I’ve always known I’m not as strong as her.
You are a lot younger than me as you have young children but I’m also more aware of my own mortality and as a mum very much modelled in my own mum’s parenting where her children were her life I think about what I’d want for my own children and that is to be sad I’ve gone but not hold on too tight so they can continue with their lives without feeling weighed down by grief so I think I’m trying to do that too.
I want to tell my mum things too, we talked everyday and when I finish work it’s so hard not being able to pick up the phone and tell her the minutiae of my day and listen to her tell me what she’s cooking, who popped by etc. I wish we didn’t have to go through this and I’m sorry you lost your mum whilst you’re still young and needed her more xx
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I love a good clean and it helps me too.
Sending lots of love I think we’re at a similar time frame as I lost my mum just over two months ago xx
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Hi @Granzi I hope your week at work was ok.
I think you’re right about the flat, it’s going to be hard when it’s sold.
It’s weird because I stop myself going there because it’s sad but then sometimes I feel like I’m pretending she’s still sat in her armchair watching tv so like this evening when I finished work I felt like I had to go there so I could believe that she’s gone 
but it’s so empty and I feel sad that she loved her little home abs felt safe there and she didn’t know on that last ambulance trip she wouldn’t be coming back…
it’s so tough all of this xx
I am really miss my dad today. The flat feels so quiet ,he was noisy,always singing ,making us tea and cake etc. It’s going to take sometime to learn how to be alone.
.
I’m so sorry @Redlady the quietness is awful. I popped to my mum’s flat yesterday and just the quietness was upsetting. She was quite a loud person especially as she got older and her hearing deteriorated I was always telling her to be a bit quieter, which I wish I hadn’t now but the quietness seems to amplify the loss.
I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day I hope you can get back on an even keel and your evening or tomorrow is better xx
Hi @DollyP5 - my week at work was ok and was working all weekend too…. Tired today …… My mum’s flat was lovely, it was small but cosy, when my 3 children were little we would all stay there, despite there being no room! It will be so sad when my mum’s flat sale goes through. It was my Grandma’s birthday last week, I feel sure her and my Mum are together again.
I hope you are doing ok and thank you for checking in xxx
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Ah I hope you can have a rest now. I’m back to work tomorrow I only work part time but actually being at work feels quite good for me.
I have a day with my grandson today which I also enjoy although every time he does someone funny or cute I feel a little sadness that my mum can’t see him, she was so excited to be a great grandma.
My mum’s flat is little too but like yours cosy and my children have had so many sleepovers there when they were young so it’ll be another sadness when it’s gone but the emptiness at the moment is sad too. I hope you don’t find it too hard and have you got some photos of it so you can keep those to remind you of the happy times.
It’s comforting to think of loved ones being re united isn’t it and I’m sure they are and I keep thinking they’re having the best time.
Take care of yourself, gets some rest and catch up soon xx
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I feel your pain and understand, always here anytime
Hello @DollyP5 - how are you? Your words have been of great comfort.
There has been a delay in selling my mum’s flat - it is still not clear why this is but I am trying to find out. This has been upsetting as I have been mentally preparing myself for the sale of my mum’s flat. Today I have sorted through a few of my mum’s possessions as I know I cannot keep everything forever but I still find this so, so difficult.
Although I have family and some good friends I have spent so much of the past 6 months since my mum passed away feeling so alone in my grief. Today is one of those days x
Hi, I just want to say that I feel your pain. I live alone now, but you know sometimes,I don’t think being surrounded by lots of people would help. Many people who haven’t experienced grief, just don’t get it. They often mean well but the worst bit is when they want to make it better, try and fix you in a sense. I just want someone to sit with me and just hear my pain without judgement or comment. Why is that so hard to find?
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Hi @Granzi
I’m sorry you’re having a bad day and I hope you managed to be kind to yourself and just do what you need to do, even if it’s just check out for a day. I find keeping busy, getting out for a walk, going to buy flowers and going to my mum’s spot in the rose garden helps, but you just got to do whatever you need to find a little bit of comfort.
I’m so sorry the ups and downs of selling property is a minefield at the best of times so I can only imagine how awful it must feel now when you’re emotionally invested like this and I know that I will be steeling myself when it happens for me. I hope it’s a blip and can be sorted quickly. I’m being quite slow and reticent with sorting through my mum’s bits. She liked collecting and in fairness over the last few years she’s needed me to help with housekeeping etc we’ve decluttered a fair bit but it’s bloody hard thinking of all her special bits that can’t be kept having to be let go. I’ve just taken the few bits that were really special to me and my family and given a few bits to her close friends but I still know there’s a massive job to be done in terms of sorting through, I’m just putting it off. There doesn’t seem to be a rush with the sale of her flat, my sibling who has taken her death badly but in a completely different way to me, is very angry, so I’m distanced from them. They’re managing this part of things so I’m not sure what’s going on entirely but it feels like no rush which works for me at the moment.
I agree with you, grief feels very lonely even when you do have a network around you maybe because it’s such a personal relationship you had with that person you lost and I know sometimes I don’t want to upset the other people by being upset so I’m dealing with it more by myself, if that makes sense?
I hope today can be a better day and try and take things as easy as you can and day by day xxx
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Thank you x
Very random rambling here, but I just wanted to share,
So I turned 40 at the weekend … woohoo!
But talking to a colleague today who asked how my birthday was ( I had a lovely weekend away with my partner and children - there were sad times but the children loved it, therefore so did I ) I explained how lovely it was and added with tears that I wished my Mum was here to celebrate too … (she doesnt know the pain of losing her Mum yet) and said, she’s always with you though, in your memories…
I didn’t quite know what to say … so I just agreed!
I know you said @DollyP5 that work helps you … Im a teacher … this school year I’ve read 2 books about the child in the story having lost their Mums, 1 about a child who was separated from but reconnected with her Mum, an RE lesson about reincarnation and today read 2 poems - one from a mother to son, the other from son to mother - both quite sad. I can honestly say, that for me, work is a distraction but only for brief moments.
I covered a colleague earlier this year, who suggested I make Mothers Day cards with her class…
I can laugh now!
Some days I find though, that it’s other people or circumstances that contribute to my bad day … not necessarily my grief … although it’s heightened by it … I suppose if I wasn’t grieving for my Mum, would I still have had a bad day?
I try to explain and justify my grief to myself quite often, but always come back to the same point that it’s okay, not to be okay.
I hope everyone is having a good day though, despite their grief 
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Hi. So sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum on 11th February this year. She had Vascular Dementia and i miss her so much. I look after my Dad and feel i can tell him how i feel as he is going through it too.
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@Elle2123 I’m a teacher too, although not currently class based which allows me more headspace probably. Although when my dad died, 15 years ago, I was in the class room and I found the children really helped distract me from my grief.
What you’ve described is really difficult though, sorry you’ve been through this.
Sorry too about your colleagues seeming lack of empathy 
people do say things that don’t really seem to have thought through. Whenever something nice or a celebration happens I think I wish my mum was here, it’s always tinged with sadness.
Belated Birthday wishes xx
So Sorry for your loss @Debpat1 xx
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@Redlady - I hope you are doing ok. X
@DollyP5 - thank you for your kind words.
I hope you are doing ok. I know what you mean about grieving silently. I think about my mum every day. I miss my mum every day. Then only change in the six months since she passed away is that at the moment I don’t cry every day now and I can now talk about my mum now without crying. The loss of my mum has remains huge xxx
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