I lost my mum coming up to 5 years ago. So I’ve experienced a few christmases without her. But I’m finding this year SO difficult. I suffered from ptsd after she passed, as I nursed her alone ( she refused help). I held all my emotions in so that I could help her. I had counselling, which helped a lot. But this Christmas I’m getting so many heartbreaking memories flooding back that I cannot stop crying. She was ill and frail over Christmas but was fighting so hard to live. She had melanoma. I’m finding that there are so many triggers to memories I had repressed. I know that no one can make this better, I just needed to share somewhere.
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.