Missing my Mum

Hi everyone this is my first time posting on this community.

My mum was diagnosed at the beginning of April and I took on the role of full time carer. Sadly Mum lost her fight to cancer 6 weeks later. It has left such a void in my life as my Mum was my best friend. I miss the daily phone calls and being able to visit her especially at weekends. Its been 14 weeks since her passing and i’m trying to adjust to this new way of life, some days are harder than others. I have found on the hard days walking has helped with the grief.

The day Mum passed a part of me left as well and I know that part is never coming back.

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So sorry to hear about your mum. Glad you’ve found the site, hopefully you’ll find some comfort from it x

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Every morning I wake I think of my mum. The emptiness and loneliness is what I feel the most. It’s so hard isn’t it. Think of what your mum would be saying to you now and live the words. Huge hug x

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Mum is the first person I think of in the morning and last person at night. She would be telling me to get on with my life and make her and my Dad proud.

We lost my Dad 17 years ago to bowel cancer, yes I was close to my Dad, but with Mum the grief feels different.

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I agree. I was very close to my father and I lost him in 1997. Losing my mum feels different though … like you say, Maybe because she was the rock that held the family together and losing her was very final. Feeling lost is very common and you just feel so empty … lack of interest in anything. I feel like I lost the only person who truly loved me. I loved her with all my heart. She really wanted me to find love and I wish I had, but it just didn’t happen and my business took precedence. I realise now that having someone at home is so needed in grief.

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Hi, everything you’ve said resonates with me. My lovely Mum died suddenly and unexpectedly in January. The impact of her death on me has been immense. Although I know she would want me to be living my best life, I’ve struggled to maintain enthusiasm and motivation. I guess it’s part of the grieving process and I just have to keep trying. I find it hard not being able to share my news with her and make regular visits for long chats over cups of tea. It’s my birthday in September, my first without her so I guess I’m due for more emotional fallout. Best wishes xx

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Hi Rosiepink, I had my first birthday without Mum in August lots of big emotions before the actual day. On the day my sister and I went to Mums favourite place (that was my choice) and have to say I felt really close to Mum there, but it was a hard day to get through but I did it.

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Grief is very hard when you are on your own. I have lots of support round about me from family and friends, but they have their own life’s to lead and I don’t want to feel as if I am a burden to them. Like you I never found my person, but it wasn’t meant to be. I know Mum was worried about me before she died because I am on my own, I have a sister but she stays about an hour away and her and her husband have their own life.

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Sadly, my family of 6 siblings have completely fallen out. A lot to do with grieving in different ways, but also because of self serving executers! It’s very common though apparently. I do think if I had a partner then I would of been treated differently, who knows. Grieving is just so hard when you now don’t talk to your family and you’re on your own! Friends have been great, but they do say you choose your friends … I’m healing through getting involved in things! I’ve started sailing which has been brilliant … new crowd and new interests. I’d recommend it

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My mother passed January 19th at 4pm. I won’t forget it. She still looked absolutely beautiful and I kissed her forehead, telling her life wouldn’t be the same but I’d try to “get on with things” as she told me to, I won’t ever forget her … she was my rock. I’m just so grateful to of had her in my life. Think of the good times and how she made you feel … we are so lucky aren’t we… I know so many who didn’t have the love we had from our mothers x

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I lost my mum 18 months ago. I thought i was doing ok dealing with the loss but the past few weeks have been a roller coaster for me.
My step mum suggested this forum for me, she has been a major help but i find myself still struggling.
Talking definitely helps. And walks help me too.

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Yes @Marion2 I know that I was very fortunate having a Mum who loved me and wanted the best for me. In some ways that makes it even harder because you know how much you’ve lost…:broken_heart: Yet, I know she would be telling me to keep going, getting on with my life. It’s such a hard journey… best wishes xx

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Hello @SarahLW
This forum is so helpful, it really makes you feel less alone. Grief seems to go in phases doesn’t it, sometimes you feel okay-ish and then others you’re swamped in all the emotions… Sending you best wishes xx

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Yes I found this forum and feel comforted that I can speak to others who have lost their parent/s fairly recently and can understand that what I’m feeling resonates with so many others. Lots of love x

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