Today is my birthday, the first in 37 years ,without my partner. It has been 8 months since he passed away very suddenly .
I thought I was coping well but today , it just seems to much to handle.
Feeling as if I have taken a massive step backwards, to when the pain was so overwhelming!
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Dear @Norfolk
Happy birthday for today and welcome to the Community.
What you are experiencing is normal and you are still in the early stages of grief. Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions and birthdays, special occasions and events bring it all back home as to how much we miss our partner and celebrating these occasions with them. This is your first birthday without your partner beside you in 37 years, understandably you feel will like you are not coping.
As it happens today is my fathers birthday also and he passed 17 years ago. This morning I sat on the bed and balled my eyes out. It is because we miss them so much and we should be celebrating with them.
The first year of anniversaries and birthdays is hard and you will get through this. You are stronger than you think and we are all here to support you. I do hope whatever you are doing today you will have a nice birthday. You could do what you and Partner would normally have done over the years.
Please continue to reach and take care.
Pepsi
Thank you …it helps to hear this .
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Happy Birthday 
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Happy birthday for yesterday. I know how you feel. I’m struggling too at the moment. I lost my husband suddenly September 2021. I have a lot of family birthdays in June - including both my parents, my husbands (27th) and mine (30th). Thought I was coping ., Sandra