I too went through this I lost my partner last year and I had a breakdown and also considered leaving this world just to be with my partner however I realised my grandchildrens memories would not just be filled with losing their grandad but also the circumstances surrounding their granny had I followed it through however a year on I have had counselling and medication from my gp and for first time in a year I am now off to see all my grandchildren or first time in a long time and I know my partner will be with me. Yes it’s hard and yes you think there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel but there is it just takes time. No two people are the same my advice is do it at your own pace people tried to tell me get over it but I did it at my pace and I got there. I am still heartbroken and always will be at losing my soulmate but to get to this stage is a huge step for me and I will keep fighting. Sending my love to u xx