Missing my wife of 24 years

My wife died on 30//11/22 at hospital due to ambulance not coming to her for 16 years,I was her fulltime carer and we married 1998 she is my first love,best friend,soul mate and my wonderful wife,it was our 25th anniversary next year,I miss her so much and I blame myself for not ringing the ambulance more but her condition didn’t change and thats what they said ring back if she gets worse,we lived together 24/7 and I loved it so much,my first Christmas on my own,its so lonely on your own,trying my best not to end it and be with her in heaven but I know she wouldn’t want that.
Why is it the good always get taken away,she never moaned about her illness she got up with a smile on her face but inside I think she was fed up with how bad her illness was,so I keep saying to myself she in a better place,I don’t like living on my own thats for sure.


I’m looking for someone to chat to and meet up in anyone near hull East yorkshire

Hello @Mattred75, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Many of our members have experienced the loss of their wife so will understand some of what you’re going through.

There is a very useful site called AtALoss which lists local bereavement support in your area, if you would like to meet others face-to-face. If you go to the AtALoss website and select your location, you can see what may be available.

We know that Christmas without our loved ones can be difficult, whether it’s the first or fifth. You may find some ideas for getting through the day in our Coping with grief at Christmas article. And of course the community is here for you too.

Take good care,

I found out my wife diabetes sugar was very low and that caused a heart attack and that caused brain damage aswell,I was reading on the NHS website if someone confused they need help quick but the ambulance service let her down because of they turned up my wife might still be here today.its very hard on your own when we have been with someone for over 24 years and you was there full time carer

I am in Manchester, wish I was closer


Grief is so so had, but someone once said to me the pain you are feeling now us the price you pay when you love someone, your wife had I’ll health for a long time, she’s now released from that & in time the rawness of your pain will ease and you’ll be able to let the memories of your wife sustain you, I believe it’s only a temporary parting until you meet again when you’ll both be young again transformed into the people you were when you first met, you just have to hold on at the moment your in the worst of it and know that it will get better.

I’m so sorry about your mum,I know how you feel,I’m not looking forward to moving out our home and on my own thats for sure

Why have you got to move? Surely you have enough going on

Its a disabled bungalow but landlords been great dont have to move until they find me a flat so it could be months or a year.

Oh at least that is something. Give it time, these things can’t be rushed

I agree its night time i dont like on my own and not looking forward to xmas this year