Hi,
It’s 12 weeks tonight since my wife passed away, she’d been fighting various illnesses for 15 years and fought for every day of that time, Every thing I do or see brigs memory’s flooding back, we were married for 46 fantastic years, Imiss her so much, when will I feel better?
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I think the pain softens as time goes on and you don’t feel as overwhelmed and distressed. You come out of the stage were you are in a fog and the reality then kicks in. This is when the anguish comes and the reality that your loved one is gone. I found this to be so hard. I thought I was coping and suddenly fell apart. I didn’t want to spend a moment alone. The anxiety has also been relentless. I sleep with medication and cannot manage without it. The loneliness and the silence is also something I do not cope well with. The simple answer is you learn to live with the grief and carry your loved one with you. I get the odd good day and many bad days. I can think of my husband now and sometimes smile but suddenly the grief creeps up and I am in floods of tears. It was never in my mind that my husband would die and it was all so sudden and unexpected. Grief is the price we pay for loving so deeply x
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@Argon. It is early days for you yet on this horrific rollercoaster of grief. I am now 14 months from losing my best friend and soulmate, who wasn’t ill until covid destroyed his life. He was so unique, much loved by all and I still cannot make sense of it all. 31 years married & almost 43 years together.
There are some logical things you can try to make it easier but unfortunately logic and grief don’t sit comfortably alongside each other.
Logic says find a routine, structure, keeping busy whether its work, hobbies or helping others. But we are all different & grief can dictate otherwise.
I’m now back at work, from home for now and it’s not better - it’s just different.
I will never get over losing my husband, ever. So much to miss and it changes everything, how you eat, sleep, shop, your financial situation, your relationships (its broken my family completely), friendships you thought were solid - in short your entire life.
This is a hard road we are on and time doesn’t heal. Just makes it different.
This forum has shown me so many things, hope, despair, humility and you can say things on here that you just cannot share with family or friends.
I wish you strength on your journey and hope you have support.
M
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