Missing you so much

Hi how are you feeling today thanks for dropping in to chat.
Feeling very lonely, my life is consumed in pain.
All day and night I am thinking of the loss of the mum of my children.
She was so young to of left this life.
I am missing you so so much, I am sorry I was not there for you in your last minutes. Hopefully your in a better place and are happy and at peace. I am thinking of you and missing you.

My heart is broken :broken_heart::sob:. I am trying to get over every day but it seems I am fighting to get over every minute of every day and night.
I am doing things and getting out but it’s so difficult to do things.

How are you feeling today how are you dealing with loss. Thanks for dropping in and thanks for your help and support.

Lots of love :heart::kissing_heart::heart::kissing_heart:

7 Likes

Hi there I am very lonely as well. I lost my Tom on January 12th, 2024. I have been not doing so well. So naturally you try to distract your brain. So I’ve been hanging out with a couple friends like two, and only every other day. And I’ve been secluding myself and not being progressive in anyway. It’s amazing what grief can do. I tell you what though, never in my whole life did I expect to be dealing with such terrible hurt. I’m useless. I cry too much. But I did do a few things the other day, I made some things too. I don’t know maybe I’m getting a little stronger. Thanks for listening. One step at a time. Take care.

1 Like

Yes day by day minute by minute week by week.

Hopefully things will get better.

Sitting at the grave thinking of the good times.

Very lonely here no one is here just me and the wind and rain.

Lots of love :sparkling_heart::kissing_heart::sparkling_heart:

2 Likes

I’m really sorry for your hurt and grief, I hope you feel better soon and know that there is always someone to talk to.

1 Like

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old are your children? I’m left on my own with a 3 yr and a 4 yr old. 2 and 3 at the time. I still haven’t been able to make myself clean my house. Oh well, maybe tonight.

My children are 13, 14, 18, 27. Not Yong children. But there independent so there doing things with friends.
Full time parenting.

It’s not easy loosing the mum and left holding things together.

Lots of love :kissing_heart:

1 Like

I am encouraged by reading what other people are doing while still managing all of the emotions and devastation that comes with their grief. Before the other day when I joined this community, I was alone, I have never really felt so alone. In the last couple days since I found everyone here, the comfort that I’m not the only one, and just the heartfelt encouragement and support from others. I cleaned my living room today, I did two loads of laundry, I vacuumed not only the floor but all of the cobwebs and creepy crawlies in the corners. I cleaned up all the garbage out of my bathroom, my living room, my kitchen, and the front room. I disinfected my bathroom and even scrub the toilet. I made four pairs of earrings. WOW. Now that I’m putting it down in writing, that’s a lot. I have a ton of laundry still to do but that can wait. I cried a lot still, but felt some motivation and I ran with it. It’s the end of the day and I guess, I guess I am proud of myself. That’s a huge step from where I was the last few months. I’m so grateful for everyone and having the courage to share, thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’ve noticed also that getting it off my chest and putting it on here also opened up communication to other people. I reached out to my little sister, to my cousin, I even got invited to a fire pit behind someone’s house next door. And I went. I’ve been able to say and release myself more. Instead of secluding myself and not communicating with anybody. I felt like I was waiting for somebody to come over or hoping anyone would. It’s not up to them. It’s me. I feel encouraged and optimistic and creative for the first time since January 12th.

I’m not saying I’m better, honestly I’m basically saying I’m having a good day, and I know, and expect, the Wave. But still encouraged. Hugs hugs hugs. :hibiscus:

1 Like

Hi singlemon when i first gave home a good clean after my husband died i felt like I had achieved something cause at first you have no energy or inclination to do anything everything is an effort the house now is ok but I’m struggling to eat properly the freezer is full fridge empty can’t be bothered to try and cook anything haven’t used the hob since 15th April when he died am living off toast and slimfast used to love cooking nice meals for the two of us but keep accepting offers sometimes we feel like just saying no but try and keep saying yes cause what’s the alternative being on your own

1 Like

That’s so recent. It’s barely been a month, I really truly understand. My heart is so unsure of how to comfort something that I know is just unfathomable. For me it has been 5 months and I finally have started cooking again. But those first, I don’t know, you know, when it’s all fresh, and confusing, and painful, what are you supposed to do. My poor boys when I finally cooked a good meal, they were so tired of pizza. My older boy he’s four, thanked me over and over again for the amazing dinner, and I woke up that day and made them breakfast too, but it’s not every day. Just that alone makes me feel horrible. Tom and I took pride in our healthy choices of meals, we never ate out, and we cooked every single meal. My boys are not used to Mommy, “just do pizza again”.
My little sister and her husband, who are both sober and loving it, have been giving me a chance to really grieve. They have had them now for 3 weeks. I told my little sister that I miss them with all my heart. When I take them back from her I want to be ready and I want to be able to be there for them in every way. Right now I, I can’t. It breaks my heart. It’s the first time that they’ve been away from me since they were born. That alone is really hard, not seeing them everyday. But this time, this space, and being alone, I feel has given me an opportunity to truly grieve, compared to when my boys are here, they’re a handful, and a good distraction. But I was having a hard time just doing basics with them, you know take a bath, food, I don’t know, brush hair. I told my little sister that I think that they’re better off there, and being taken care of properly, then coming home yet. I hope that this time, that this grieving time is worth it. Because my boys deserve me, they deserve my full attention, my everything, so I just hope, that’s all I can do. My art as an outlet really helped me with the earlier days/months. I lost myself in painting, crying, making sure I had food to give them and we have a wood stove. So find wood cut split and make a fire. The middle of winter in Alaska.

Everyone has their own way of recovering from loss,
I took to keeping busy and never relaxing.
I just can’t relax or take my mindset off the loss.
I was at my wife’s grave :headstone: over weekend, it’s so difficult to get there as she asked to go back to hometown.
Two hours to get there, but it was good to go.
All I am doing is surviving day bye day. Getting past the next minute and hours.
Hopefully in time I will get better and hopefully you will be ok.
I wish we all could feel better but it will take time.

Lots of love to you all
Love :heart::kissing_heart::heart::kissing_heart::heart: