It’s 14 weeks since I lost the love or my life. Is there really any pain greater than heartache?
I sit alone now in the darkness of despair. I cry my silent tears
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces
The silence is deafening to my ears
The darkness frightens me, the shadows climb the wall
I hear footsteps walking, passing through the hall
The loneliness surrounds me, it takes my breath away
This is the pattern of my life since that awful, dreadful day
Without a clue, without a hint of what was yet to be
God called you home to be with him and took you away from me
I walk, I talk. I carry on when the sun pokes out its head
But when darkness falls and evening comes, I cannot go to bed
For this is when I miss you most of all when I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears watching the shadows and missing you
Night times and first thing in the mornings are the worst for me @sad2. It is a living hell isn’t it? A lot of things in your poems resonate with me, and probably loads of others too. I don’t know how we are surviving, but somehow we are. Life is now scary and lacking in purpose. I feel that my partner was more use to this earth than I will ever be. He was a wonderful, popular man. I cannot understand why he isn’t here and I am. Certainly our friends were with us for him, and not me, as they have virtually all faded away now.
Yes, it is a living hell and life can be so cruel and unfair. All I seem to do is cry. Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to do right now. Right now I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. I still hear his voice and feel his presence even though I know he’s not here. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now. Will we ever see a light at the end of this very dark tunnel?
I know what you mean Wong - my partner always used to joke that I was his better half but he was a far better human being than me. He was loved and liked by everyone. I sometimes wonder whether I have been left here in this living hell so that he didn’t have to go through this pain as he was the better person. I wouldn’t want him to ever have to go through this.
I don’t believe that time heals, it just gives you time to adjust. Grief like this is not something that can be sorted it has to be carried. That is why it is exhausting.
Loosing someone is so hard, but when you loose several family members and friends with in weeks of each other. How are you supposed to feel? I’m still trying to understand how to cope… some days I cry , but the days that I feel happy I also feel little guilty. Is it okay to have all these feelings?