Mom died on Monday

Mom died on Monday after 2 long weeks in a hospice. It was a truly awful experience just watching my lovely mom fade away.
I’m trying to make sense of my emotions, I feel relieved that she is no longer in pain, angry that I feel she was taken too young and angry that the ramifications of Covid meant she died much sooner than she should have.
My little daughter is coping amazingly well and whilst I’m pleased she’s doing good I’m also a bit miffed that she doesn’t seem bothered at all. Is that a normal response?

Hi Joey55

I am very sorry for your loss. You must be in so much pain having only lost your mum on Monday.
I have children of my own who are young, and whilst my Mom is in the process of passing, they also do not seem to be affected. I think that’s normal. There is only so much little hearts can cope with. The questions will come, but take comfort in the fact that your daughter can still smile and be joyful. Children can brighten us adults when we need it most.
Thoughts are with you.


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Dear Dolly
Thank you so much for reaching out despite going through what I know will be your own terribly sad time.
Sending you lots of warm wishes and look after yourself.
Jo xxx

Hi Joey55 I’m sorry for your devastating loss, its so hard. I lost my mum 4 months ago to undiagnosed cancer - she passed within 8 weeks from coming down with what we thought was tummy bug - she too died in a Hospice . I have a 9 year old son who has lost his only grandparent and for the past 4 months has seemed not to even notice granny was gone. We put photos up of him and her together in his room and I bought him a book ‘What happens when someone dies’ (which I really recommend). Only last week he asked me to read it to him and it seems now that he’s beginning to feel she is gone. I think for children its a different experience to ours - appearing to be completely normal for ages and unmoved by it all, but actually the grief comes to them a bit later and when they are ready to talk about it. I still talk to my son about granny quite regularly and say something like ‘Granny would have liked that’ but in little mentions rather than to overload too much. I like to keep her in mind for him in gentle ways. Wishing you well Kate


Hi Kate, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message. Great to have a recommendation for a book also. Sounds like my little girls reaction is completely normal, I think I’m just hyper sensitive at the moment and I’m finding her bluntness quite difficult to deal with.
Thanks again and I wish you and your son well xx

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