Momentary lapses

Keep forgetting my girl is not this normal?

Hello Annette. How are you? It’s happened to me several times as well recently. I understand our loss’s are just a few days apart in October so don’t know if it is a “time” related thing. I can’t say if it’s normal or not but don’t worry that you may be the one to have felt it. Take care Annette, Tina.

Dear Annette and Tina
Lost my beautiful son in May this year and I know exactly what you mean about forgetting they are gone, I am sometimes doing something completly mondain and they it hits me all over again that he is not coming home, it is like your brain lets you forget but then the remembering is so hard, like a knife in your soul that is twisted a little every time the realisation of them not being here hits you again, all you can do is cry and let it out again and again,
I think it happens to pretty much everyone, it is so hard to take but apparently it does get better so I have been told. I cannot work out what is worse, thinking they are here and then remembering they are not, or remembering they are gone all the time. So many of us walking this path, we are not alone,
Take care

Thanks so much for your replys Jan and Tina.I am in a befuddled state any way.hope you are both okay.but that isn’t the word really is it.I don’t know how to negoiate the rest of my life now still in very painful limbo.all my best wishes to you both.our agony will never go away will it.I am so angry at times.all my best

I think you are not alone in this. Most mornings I wake up thinking that I have to get up to either make Peggy breakfast or perhaps if she was not hungry simply sot with her and drink a cup of coffee before going to work. Then it dawns on me and I break down. It is now just over 4 weeks since her passing and I am praying that time starts to heal and soon.

Hello Jan - Thanks for adding me to your reply to Annette. I’m so sorry to read of your devastating loss. I agree with what you say about wondering which is worse. Everything about life now seems a bit “pretend” doesn’t it, like we are not really part of it and as Annette says “limbo” is quite an apt way to describe it. Take care Jan

Thanks Tina for your reply. Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside looking in, everyone gets on with their lives, and I am sure to the outside world it looks like I am getting on with mine, but if they only knew that it takes all my strength not to cry all day and just to get on. This is not my life, its like I am living someone else’s life and one day I will escape this nightmare of eternal sadness, but I know in my heart that it is my life and my old happy life has disappeared into the distance. I think I am coping more as time goes on, getting better at hiding the pain, but I know that I will carry this grief everyday for the rest of my life and somehow I will just have to learn to live with it. Life is hard but people are kind and loving, we are not alone, my son will always be a part of me, until I see him again.