More questions than answers

More Questions Than Answers
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

I can be almost certain that in the most horrible pain that you are experiencing at the time of your loss, your mind is full of questions! It would be futile for me or anyone to try to give the answers to the questions because those questions as far as I know have no humanly known answers.

As someone who has been in deep grief, I am taking this moment to reflect as I think of someone who may also be going through the same. You are probably here because of your own very painful loss or someone close to you has lost a loved one to death. Either way, I hope my own experience can serve to encourage you through your pain.
Firstly, I should reassure you that the questions you have are okay to have. I had them too, when I lost my loved ones! I also lost my dad in November 2015. I lost my sister as well in April 2004. I am not even here to promise that I will provide the answers for you but I am just saying that you are not alone in that realm of thought.
The most likely questions you may have are:
Why it was your loved one who had to die?
Why now?
Why did God not heal them or prevent them from dying?
The fact that you feel this way means that you really loved them. It also means that their premature departure has left a vacuum full of pain for you.
It is not a simple thing to just accept death and move on. As long as the pain remains you will always have these questions and nobody will ever succeed to answer them for you.
Why am I so sure? I speak not only from personal experience but also from scriptural examples.
Picture Job for instance. He was no doubt a good man of God. And yet even he was filled with questions. He took all his many questions directly to God.
Did God even answer his questions? No, He didn’t! Instead God hit him with the existential question. He asked him: “Where were you when I made the heavens and the earth?” God essentially told him, “Be quiet Job”. He said be still and know that I am God. He simply implied this… “I am God and you cannot even understand anything even if I did explain it to you!”
We can never understand the issues surrounding death. We will all have to wait until we reach heaven to know some reasons behind our pain.
Today I pray that your soul will be filled with the Spirit of God and be still.
God loved your special one more than you or any human could. God’s heart is pained too as you feel the pain that you feel. May you find your peace in Jesus!

Hi Khanye. I think a lot of comfort can be gained from the Scriptures for those who believe. Obviously, not everyone does and their views have to be respected.
Yes, poor old Job. He was surrounded as we all are by ‘Job’s comforters’. All giving useless answers and making him feel worse. There is so much in the Book of Job that can teach us lessons. Carl Jung wrote a book about The Book of Job and what it has to say about us and the way we think.
But the Scriptures,especially the New Testament can also give valuable advice.
‘Take no thought for the morrow, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof’
Looking too far ahead is not good in bereavement. Day to day is a better way. The 23rd Psalm gives us hope. Questions and answers! To so many questions there are no answers on this Earth. ‘It is not given to us to know the ways of God.’. Now if we believe or not, there is far too much evidence to give us hope. There is a lot of nonsense too, but we have to decide for ourselves what is true. The most important message from Christ is LOVE. ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself’. Love is he greatest panacea of all. It may seem as if our loved ones have departed this earth, but they have not gone. We can go on loving them just as they love us.
Thanks for that.


I like your post John. We have to be careful with religion and as you say, respect others’ views. Some blame God for their suffering and might turn away from Him whereas some get through with a strong faith. Some may discover God for the first time. There is no doubt that much comfort can be had from religion and I get that. I fell out with God a few years ago. It was personal, just between me and Him. Up until that time, I was a regular church goer, secretary on the PCC etc. I haven’t yet made friends with Him although I had great support from a vicar during the first year of my grief. I now consider that gentleman a personal friend. xx


Thanks for hat both John and Kate. I can only share from my perspective and the way I understand scripture. In all my sharing I do wish to bring some comfort to all who read, even if they see things differently than I do. I would like to impact someone’s life and bring them hope as well as courage to carry on. I do sincerely hope that somebody somewhere does find my words to be helpful. I am sorry that you fell out with God Kate. I am not here to judge you or anyone. I can only hope that you can make it up between yourselves again and receive peace of mind!

Oh yes!! I too fell out with God at first. How could he do this to a loving woman who did no one any harm. My lady Vicar was very helpful and we had long talks.She came to the care home and gave my wife a blessing on the day she died. I was very grateful. Now there are many aspects of religion that I find difficult. It’s not the teaching of Christ that I have a quarrel with, it’s the translations and words of Jesus that have become distorted and taken out of all context. Mostly by certain parts of the church that have done it to establish a power base. This man Jesus, who walked the shores of Galilee in a robe, would he have been in favour of golden robes and mitred hats and worshiping another man? Humility and simplicity were key words, and Love. It’s all too much in the head and not where it should be, in the heart. Take care.


On the aspects you point out I completely agree with you! I know modesty would be the way He who had no place to lay His head would have people live and not pomp and fame. But I intend to keep on sharing encouragement from my story while using a scripture or two in a way to help soothe somebody somewhere, maybe you might find more of my thoughts to be in line with yours.