I had my cat from wen he was 6 weeks old, 15 and a half years ago. It has only be him and me for those years! He was always there, ran to greet me when I came home, woke me in the morning, slept with me til I fell asleep at night, an independent but loving cat. When the first lockdown hit he was there to keep me company, I would always have him to talk to! Then in November he was staring at me funny then couldn’t walk rushed him to vet, they didn’t know what was wrong took him to animal hospital, he had had a stroke, but would be ok. He was in hospital for a week, then I was shown how to do physio on him so I could do it when he was home, no need - when I got him home he dragged himself around and was walking within a couple of days. All was going well he slept in a pen now as he couldn’t get down stairs do safer for him. He would scratch pen to say he needed the loo or water etc, we got into a routine . He woke me in the morning and that was the day started d get him up, give him meds, put on my laptop to work and he would sleep by radiator. Until things changed and he was walking funny sent vet videos and took him back, this happened a couple of times until January 12th when I sent video to vet and she phoned saying bring him in but we are not sure what we can do. Took him in and within an hour was told nothing more could be done it was time to let him go! I have been heartbroken since this day, he was more than a cat to me, he was my baby! The first week I never got out of bed I just cried, second wk I went to collect ashes still crying. I can’t sit in living room without sobbing, so I stay in bed. He was my reason for getting up in the morning and now I don’t have one! I know everyone thinks, I should be over this by now “he was just a cat” but he wasn’t and I’m so lost without him. I feel some days that I’m ok, I’m getting there and I can talk on the phone to people, but I’m not, I just don’t know what to do. A cousin suggested joining a group as I have no contact with anyone due to lockdown. Sorry it’s so long!
yes he was MUCH more than a pet! gosh, a hard loss. I am so sorry. animals are wonderful companions and bring warmth to our lives.
mourn him like any other does on this board. but know also, though a pet cannot be replaced, you can find the same love and companionship with another animal.
one day.
animals are so much fun … 
they leave emptiness when they depart.
So sorry for the loss of you’re pet. Any one whoes had a much loved 4 legged companion understands the loss. I know I do.
Hello @tat28… I really feel your pain in your writing and it is definitely valid.
I had a cat I adopted from 6wks when I was 16. She was so loving. She was there before I met the man I later married. She is on my wedding pics at age 25 (reception was in my mums garden) and she lived with my husband and I until I was mid thirties. She was a big part of our daily life and my husband cherished her as much as me. 6 years ago she got ill, we tried several vets and probably should have let them put her to sleep earlier in hindsight but we kept trying to save her.
In the end we stroked her as she died from the injection the vet gave her, she purred. We missed her a lot and both cried a lot (my husband cried more over Saffy than I saw him cry about anything else and he hardly ever cried).
We had adopted two kittens several years before she died, she taught them how to behave and used to groom them like they were hers. It definitely helped having them, partly because the link they had to her. Also my husband and I had each other. On your own must be very very difficult.
The last week of her life I had been due to go to a work conference overseas that we were told was mandatory. On the morning I was due to fly I couldn’t bear to leave Saffy so I cancelled the flight/taxis/Hotel and I later heard some work colleagues joking that I’d done that over a cat (it was a big risk to my job as it was a restructuring conference) but she was more important to me than most humans. I’m glad I did that although phoning to tell my boss was not easy as he hated cats (used to tease me about cats before that).
He is your family, your household. Its life changing and lonely on a daily basis.
My husband died in October. Our cats keep me going and getting up out of bed otherwise I often wouldn’t bother… Luckily we’d adopted two more kittens from cats protection in 2019 so I have 4 around me now and I love them so much. I so dread if anything happens to them as they are my family and my life revolves around them.
I’m sorry you lost him. Your feelings are totally understandable to me. He was your partner in daily life there, your home. Take it easy on yourself.
Dear tat28. I have only just read your post as I was looking for someone who understands. I have 4 border collies who mean everything to me they are my babies my oldest is 13 and when I first had her my daughter also got a puppy a golden retriever called sammie. My daughter text me over the weekend to say that sammie was having trouble getting up and off her food. I went round to see her yesterday and yes she couldn’t get up they were talking about having her put to sleep all last night I couldn’t sleep for crying about her my dog misty and her are like sisters having been brought up together its made me realise she may not have much longer and it all breaks my heart. I feel I can’t bear to lose anything else in my life as I lost my husband last year to covid. I am praying that sammie gets better but realise she is an old dog. Animals bring so much joy into our lives. X
I’m so sorry tat28.
I lost my horse a few years ago, she was the love of my life, my baby. I still cry over her even now. I watched the film Coco and sobbed because I was thinking of her.
Some people are so cruel when you lose a beloved animal - ignore those idiots, please. You just have to feel pity for them, because they have a small heart and have never really lived life.
Grief is grief and love is love - I don’t know how anyone could be so callous as to see someone heartbroken and tell them it doesn’t matter because…blah blah blah.
I’m sending you love and cuddles.
Some people will actually understand - accept their empathy and surround yourself with them, they might be people you would never have expected, but they may have experienced a similar loss and want to reach out to you.
I belive in the afterlife and there is a poem called the Rainbow Bridge which is very moving and I recommend you read it (if you want to).
My horse still comes to me sometimes in dreams - at first she would be there as if nothing happened, and she would hug me (hard to explain if you’re not a horse person, but she used to do it with her head, when she was still alive) say “Mummy, I’m not dead, I’m still here” - in the dream she had still died but was not ‘dead and gone’ if that makes sense?
I had that dream many times and I’m sure she was trying to tell me that she lives on, it’s just that I can’t see her.
I hope some of this is comforting, many people do care and do understand - if you show your grief, mention it etc. I am sure they will offer kindness. Don’t be made to feel you have to grieve in private - society needs to change so that all grief is recognised as being equal - because it is.