If you’ve read any of my previous comments you’ll know that I’ve said ‘I’m coming to terms with her going’ but I’m not or ‘I’m doing my best to move on’ but I’m not. My house is empty and its sale is almost complete. I’ve put a deposit on a small flat and thought I was looking forward to moving in but I’m not. Its been 4 months and my heart is breaking. How can I possibly face never seeing her again.
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Dear Peterj,
'‘Moving forward’ may be a better way to describe the grief journey than ‘moving on’. Unfortunately, it is not a smooth line, but there will be ups and downs along the way. You have done well to be able to deal with all the stress involved in selling and buying. 4 months is not a very long time and off course you will still have moments of overwhleming sadness. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
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Hi Peterj,
It’s 4 months for me too and I think you have been very brave. I am so all over the place I can hardly deal with anything, thankfully Petes sister has been a rock for me and has dealt with many things that I couldn’t cope with.
So don’t be hard on yourself, it’s so tough. I have decided to take people’s advice and not make any decisions for 6 months although I can’t see me feeling any different in 2 months time.
Pete and I had only been living in a new area for 6 months and 3 days when he died. My family are 3 and a half hours away and Pete loved this house and area so much. We were blissfully happy and now I’m just a shell of the person I was.
I too can’t bear the thought that I’ll never see his face again, its just unbelievable.
It’s helps a little to know there are people who really understand how awful we all feel on here.
Take care
Muldool
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Thank you. This site has been a lifeline for me.
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This site is a life line the only place we can turn too and talk about how we are feeling with people who know what living through this with out our loved one
Saturday night alone how did that suddenly happen my husband would be watching rugby now I would have made food for him my life is now empty can not ever see my way to being happy I had it all true love hope you are having a better evening some how take care xx
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Hello Rose. I’m not alone. Since Jo passed away last Oct. I’ve been staying with her brother and his family which is where we came together when she knew she was dying and it’s where she wanted to be when she passed away. They, particularly her brother, have supported us and now me all though this nightmare. I realise that in that respect I have been very fortunate.
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peterj,
I am sorry for your loss. My loving wife died in March 2021 and it is 54 weeks for me and I am not moving forward at all. My loving wife and I were caring for her Mother who had dementia and when she died I was left to care for her by myself until she also died in August 2021. Our son moved back in with me after his Grandmother died but he is more of a tenant because he is hardly ever here and even when he is I am alone. My loving wife and I were together for 35 years and married for 34 years and those years seem to have passed very quickly but the 54 weeks since my loving wife died seem like 54 years of pure HELL. I am glad you have support of family, I have pretty much been abandoned by my loving wife’s family since she died even though I have known them for more than half of their lives as well. This site/forum has been a good place to express thoughts and feelings and to vent when the current existence is too much for me to handle all alone. Take care, John
Muldool,
I will again say I am sorry for your loss. I am glad you have some support in your grieving because it does seem to help those that have it. I believe my loving wife and I were happy in our lives as much as we could be under the circumstances of caring for her Mother with dementia and caring for a friend of mine also. We had stresses but it was nothing like what I have experienced since my loving wife died. It seems way more than 54 weeks since I saw my loving wife’s face and kissed and hugged her. I am also just a shell of the person I was and don’t think I will ever be anything else. I know when my loving wife died, my broken heart felt like it was ripped from my chest and I lost everything that made me who I was. Take care, John
Lonely,
I believe that for me I will still be grieving for my loving wife the day I die. My loving wife was my first true LOVE and my soulmate and for me it was LOVE at first sight, that was in 1985 and we got together in 1986 and married in 1987 and my loving wife died in 2021. All of that time seems to have flown by but the 54 weeks since she died has gone by so slowly in seems like years since my loving wife died and I last saw her. I just want it all to end because it hurts so much everyday and every night. I have cried every day and night since my loving wife died and I am so worn out and tired. Take care, John
Rose45,
I know that without these forums/sites I don’t know how I would keep going. I need to express my feelings and I really have nobody who I can talk to about my loving wife because anyone who knew her has moved on. I come to vent when it gets to be too much which is pretty much all of the time now. I understand the way you feel in my own way about how empty your life is. My existence means nothing now as my loving wife was my whole world and I tried to do everything I could to make her happy. Since my loving wife died I feel as if I am a failure but she is the only one who would be able to comfort me and tell me whether I am or not. I miss my loving wife everyday and night but the weekends were our times together and now they hurt because my loving wife died on a Saturday. So now what was special hurts more and all of the other triggers don’t help either, like a special moment or event that no I am alone for. Take care, John
Lonely,
Thank you, I understand and it is just so hard without my loving wife and my broken heart can’t stand it. Take care, John
Morning hope you are all coping best you can only on here can I write to people who know how this journey is not managed to get dressed today yet but I must I guess this time last year I was sitting in beach having a coffee with my husband just met thought it was going to be one last tomorrow will be the last morning that we spent together then he went to hospital sudden stroke he put up such a fight for weeks never came home I feel like you all broken just plod along day by day most time alone in our home
Take care xx
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Rose45,
I am a total wreck and feel so worthless since my loving wife died. Sadly for me this lonely house is no longer a home, my loving wife made it a home and now it is just a place that I exist in. My life ended when my loving wife died on March 13, 2021 and it was so sudden and unexpected and I was not there with her and that is one thing that will always haunt and torment me till I die. Take care, John
If only we could turn the clock back I am grateful for the life I have but feel we should have gone together we would not be going through this pain my family tell me that they could not cope with losing both parents it hard living with out him
All take care x
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Rose45,
I too felt that I should have died when my loving wife died. I accepted that I was supposed to continue caring for MIL after my loving wife died. I thought that after she died then I would just collapse because I wasn’t needed anymore. I am still here and really I don’t know why or how. I know that it will be hard on our son when I finally die but since he seems to be doing well in regards to his Mother, I think he will do well. He has many friends and they seem to have helped him and I believe will again. I just don’t want to be here without my loving wife and all of the stresses I am under should have killed me by now. I am just waiting and hoping that each day is my last and I don’t have to wake up to this pain and suffering anymore. Take care, John
Thinking of you we all feel same and want to be we out love one it does not seem right with out them does it not a life we want to live
Take care x
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