Morning anxiety

Hello I’ve not posted on here for a while and am finding the mornings pretty bad. I wake up every morning between 5 and 6 am feeling anxious ,weepy and vulnerable. I’m also finding the 2nd year after my partner’s death much harder to cope with as I begin to pick up the pieces of my life and the realisation and acceptance that he has gone hits home. Is this a common theme and how do you work your way through it ? I miss that cuppa and reassurance that the day ahead will be ok. Any advice as to how to cope would be very much appreciated .x


I tend to wake up early mornings to. I know when my mom first past, I let my brain trick me into believing she was away visiting my aunty, though really I knew she had passed, I guess it was a sort of coping mechanism at the time, but it meant a part of me was waiting for a phonecall I knew deep down that I would never get. 2 years later, I’ve stopped waiting for that call, & am finally allowing myself to accept that she’s gone, allowing myself to cry, or scream, or whatever, just let it out.
Loosing someone who is so important in your life, & was a big part of your life is a big adjustment, even 2 years later, there are changes to my routine that I’ll never get used to. I guess when the person we love first passes, we know that we will grieve for them, we know we will always have memories & things that will remind us of them, we know there will be times when we feel the empty spaces, but no-one ever really paints a clear picture of grief, there’s no instructions book to grieving, everyone is different, & will go through their own grief journey in their own time, in their own way, & there’s no set time limit. I found it helpful to mind map things, & colour code my thoughts by emotion, (red=anger, blue=sadness, purple=fear/anxiety) seeing it on the page helps to get things clear in my mind.
I’ve also found it helpful to write :writing_hand: letters to people after they’ve passed on, but more recently, in certain situations it’s like I can hear in my head what my mom would of said, sometimes it makes me smile, sometimes it makes me cry, & sometimes I need a hug. I’ve also found it helpful to talk to other family members who also feel the loss. Maybe try different things & see what works for you.
My mom was kind of a safety net, & now she’s gone, it feels like walking a type rope, no safety net, it feels scary, when things upset me, or things go wrong, I used to talk to my mom, but now the realisation hits me that I have to cope with some of these things myself, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. This makes me anxious, so your not alone.

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Thank you x

Hi there Shirleymc
I’m afraid these feelings seem to be pretty common. Like you I seemed to still be suffering from them in my second year more than ever. I found getting up and going for a brisk walk was the best thing for me to do. As I have two dogs this was natural and it seemed to clear my head of unwanted thoughts and I could carry on for the remained of the day.

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@Pandaprincess . . ““I found it helpful to mind map things, & colour code my thoughts by emotion, (red=anger, blue=sadness, purple=fear/anxiety) seeing it on the page helps to get things clear in my mind.””

Snap. l colour code my calendar, OK for okay, yellow for sad, blue for crying, red for meltdown. l think lm trying to see if there is a pattern of hope emerging from these gloomy groundhog days. nothing so far.


Lotswife, I like that system :+1:t2:

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Thank you I like the colour coding of feelings and will give it a try.
I use tapping to calm me down and wondered if others found it helpfull too. ?

@Shirleymc . what’s ‘tapping?’

When you tap accupuncture points on your collar bone or around the eyes under the nose and chin. The rhymne helps calm me down