Morning. Everyone its been a really bad weakend ive had really bad insomia im tired all day but when i go to bed im wide awake and thinking about ian and what ive lost and how dismal my live looks now i dread the future i dont think i want to face it i know i have to but dont want to if that makes sence
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Hi allison61
I know the feeling i am feeling it still, it’s only 11 weeks for me but I dread the future without tony, most of us have felt like this at some point in this journey.
I’m going to try to see my doctor, I’m crying all day most day’s and can’t see an end to this torture, sorry if that’s depressing but we do say what we feel on here that’s why I’m looking for help from my doctor, I have just started counselling but I’m not sure if it will help, but please ask for help, when it’s so overwhelming and we can’t see a way forward that is when we we need to seek help. Do you have family and friends to help, I’m on my own like so many here, i think they do counselling on this site, it’s does help to talk so just keep talking on here there is always someone who will answer
Sending you hugs jean 
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Good morning, sorry about the way you are feeling. I am exactly the same Allison61, havent slept for 4 nights now, didnt even think that was possible. I don`t have any real advice, as I am really struggling myself, but know that you are not alone, many many others here know how you feel, I`m not that great with wording but hopefully others here will offer words of comfort. Wishing you some peace.
Helen
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Thanks Helen
I’ll keep trying as we all do 
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Hi @Allison61
I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. It is just over a year since I lost my husband suddenly . You have just described how I felt in the first few months after losing my husband.
Everyone is different and cope with their grief differently. So I can only tell you what has helped me .
I have had counselling and attended a bereavement cafe once a month. Both have been helpful.
I also do exercise swimming and walking
After 9 months I have joined some groups and I am just starting to make some new friends.
None of it will ever replace my husband
I still take it one day at a time .
There are a lot of us here who are now on their own.
We all understand, keep post there will always be someone along to answer you
If you haven’t already done it reach out to your gp.
I hope you have family and friends around you .
Look after yourself
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Hi Jean clare I hope you get an appointment soon My doctor has been good and referred meto a social prescriber.
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Morning Alison, it’s just over 18 months for me. I go through periods of insomnia and feel very tired as well, as I suspect most of us do.
I try to keep my mind occupied and keep as busy as I can, but it’s the quiet moments, I fall apart. I don’t dread the future as at my age, there’s not going to be that much of a future left.
The thing that makes me very tearful is seeing my two youngest grandchildren grow up, knowing that my Jackie will miss their development. 
The only consolation is that she was with the two oldest grandchildren right through their early lives to their 20s.
I have made quite a major life change in moving back to South Wales, so I will try and make the best of whatever life throws at me.
You take care
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Dear Allison I was wondering if you had tried looking into bereavement groups in your area, having the possibility of chatting with people in a similar situation might help. I think loneliness is one of things that brings us down, especially as we have spent a lifetime with the best possible company, it’s such a shock to be so lonely. I hope you feel more cheerful as the day goes on and you can look forward to your lovely grandsons. Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
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Dear @Allison61
I’m sorry you are having these thoughts. But know that we all understand how you are feeling and are or have gone through the same.
I’m not sure if you have family/friends around you as you don’t say but I hope you have a network of support to at least talk if you need to. When I lost my Vic in March 2025 I came across the Sue Ryder forum in April 2025 and it’s been a godsend to me.
In the very early days I thought I wanted to die myself and join my hubby wherever he was. But I now know I need to live my life so I can keep his memory alive by telling stories about him.
Sadly we did not have any children but I have a good network around me and I had counselling when I was ready. I still have the occasional online counselling now when needed. My GP is also a great support to me.
I too have trouble with sleep and find my house very lonely and sometimes it feels as though the four walls are closing in on me. I try to not do anything on my phone or any electronic devices. Sometimes easier said than done. I listen to music very low which helps.
This February I started exercising jointing a gym doing Zumba, circuits and LTBs and walking in groups or with friends. This has all helped very much with my wellbeing and gets me out to meet people so I’m not so lonely.
I hope you come on here when you need to talk or even just scroll it all helps.
Sending a virtual
Catherine
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