My mum and best friend died an awful death in March. Since her death I can’t function, I’m no longer the parent I was to my daughters and I know I’m just damaging them. I don’t want to live bit how can I leave them and know they will be feeling this, then I think eventually they will be better off without me. I just want this pain to stop. I have no interest in life and the old me is gone. I’m trapped. Nothing will ever bring me joy again. I have no idea what I think this post will do to help, I just know I can’t take the thought of life
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Hi Marie
I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you ok.
My mum died a horrible death to cancer last April. I didn’t think I could function or get through. The best thing I did, was to self-refer to Health in Mind. It is through the NHS online, and they get back to you really quick. Please do reach out to professionals, they will be able to support and guide you. It is completely confidential and your doctor does not need to be involved at all.
I am sure you have beautiful children, a loving family and friends around you who do care about you. It may not feel like it at the moment, and if it was anything like me and my experience, I felt totally alone for months and didn’t know what to do.
This forum has massively helped too,
Best wishes
Alice xx
Hello M
I’m sorry to read what happened with your mom
My sister Maggie died a suffering death last year around March then this February I lost my wife,
My sisters daughter’s Veronica and Bianca are Two wonderful ladies and the loss of their mother has been tragic, I can’t imagine if you were to depart how your children would feel, I know that my nieces didn’t want their mother to leave and they are hurting so much now.
Our world is now different and difficult, I don’t want to give up, but I’m sure that if Maggie the mother of these gorgeous ladies, and my wife Heidi were here they would want us to keep going strong, talk to them, share your feelings with them as I am sharing mine with you, tell them how you feel, and how you wish you felt.
Together you could be stronger and maybe even find a better outlook in life, don’t leave your children, they need you just as much you needed mom, be their best friend!
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you are feeling.
It is so hard to feel like you are doing a good job as a parent when you are suffering so much and don’t know how to cope or process your feelings. This forum has been so helpful for me.
No one will expect you to be the parent you were, at the moment, it takes time, understanding and support. But that you ‘were’ that parent, suggests how loved you are.
I have cried many times about my mum in front of my kids - they were a bit scared at first and worried about me but I reassured them that it’s normal to feel really sad sometimes when you love someone so much. They understand my changing emotions now much more than I ever thought they could at such a young age.
I am sending best wishes to you, please stay strong xx
xx
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Thank you all so much for all your kind words. I am so very sorry for the pain you all feel and send a big squeeze. I start bereavement therapy (with hospice) next week, I am also talking to the crisis sanctuary but I have to say the GP has been less than useless. I am trying to live hour by hour and just hope that one day this pain is a bit more bearable. My cousin took her life a few years ago and I thought that was the worst I could feel, but this, I just feel like, well there aren’t any words. Thank you all for showing me I’m not totally alone xxx
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