Today has hit me so much harder than I was prepared for. I thought it couldn’t be as bad as Christmas, I wasn’t prepared for that either.
Last Mother’s Day I had both my mother and my daughter, this year I have neither. I thought, like Christmas, if I bury my head so far in the sand it might be over by the time I bring it out. I have ached with such a desperate longing all day, the gnawing in my stomach and the pacing like a caged animal. I couldn’t understand why no one else felt like this…and then I realised ….
because no one else was her mother
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Hi @MoBe
You are not alone, my baby passed some years ago during pregnancy, if he had lived he would be 16 now, 
. Every year it’s heartache, torture, another year of memories I won’t have with him. I spent yesterday messaging on this forum, watching a DVD of pride & prejudice, sometimes reading, just trying to keep busy, & despite how upsetting the day was, it worked, I’m still here.
My mom passed 3 years this April, I miss her too, but it’s missing my baby that’s really broken my heart 
. The only thing I can suggest is give yourself something to do each day, even if it’s only something small, like doing the dishes, or a walk, the distraction, however short gives you a short break, Sending hugs of support.
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OMG your so right the pain is different when I see adverts on the telly pregnant I want to retch when people ask do you have children what do I say yes but one died no idea why like you today I’m trapped in grief it snuck up on me im paralysed with pain
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I know people have said about the tsunami of grief surrounding significant days I just stupidly thought because she’s not really gone then I would be ok, but of course that’s not true! Turns out I’m lying to myself as much as everyone else.
It’s just too much, how many times can one heart break?
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Hi all,
@MemberL I know what you mean, what are we supposed to say when people, especially people with kids, ask if we have kids. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I want to acknowledge my baby, I don’t stop being his mom just because he’s not physically with me anymore.
when we were caring for my mom in her final days, my sister came over with her kids, my youngest nephew was a few months old at that time, the nurses that came to the house started talking with my sister about parent/baby/birth stuff, this felt like a stab in the heart to me, I stood there & couldn’t say anything, feeling the empty space of my baby being gone, & had to endure them talking about their own kids, but I had nothing I could contribute to the conversation . I know that if I wanted to kill the conversation, all I would of had to do was say openly, “& my baby died during pregnancy,” it would of no doubt been followed by an awkward silence, but it would of stopped their insensitivity. I know the nurses can’t of known about my loss, & wouldn’t of meant to upset me, & probably just saw it as making normal adult/parent conversation, being sociable, but it was hurtful for me, & at an emotional time.