Lost my mum suddenly at the beginning of March and I’ve been helping my dad out with all the plans and preparations since. I saw my mums last moments and have struggled a bit with flashbacks already. The funeral was 2 days ago and it was the first time I’d properly sobbed my heart out but I’ve gone back to hard shelled and in denial ever since. I’m struggling to talk about the details in the hope that its all a dream but I know it isn’t of course.
I’m worried that if I don’t grieve soon them I’m going to be in real trouble.
I’m planning on going back to work on Tuesday as I feel I need to go back to normal but I’m still exhausted and worried about leaving my dad on his own. I know he is suffering more than me, but I can’t continue to stay with him I have to move on, and I have a young family as well.
How do I trigger the grief or so I just need to give it more time?
I can’t believe its mothers day tomorrow and I’m dreading it!
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and how you are feeling; it is so hard and the funeral and Mothers Day add to the struggle so much. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
Counselling can be a great help and you can ask your GP to refer you to support services in your area.
You may also find the information pages on our website helpful - if you have a spare few minutes, please do take a look: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Good luck today - it will be hard for you and so many others too.
Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
I lost my dad on 12th March and like you spent the next few weeks helping my mum sort bank accounts, insurance policies etc. Organising the funeral. In that time I was in auto pilot. I hardly cried. We had the funeral last week and have released so much more since then. That realisation that you are never going to see or have a conversation with them again. My work gave me 4 weeks bereavement leave and I should have gone back Tuesday this week. But I just did not feel ready. I have taken some additional days leave which will see me through the easter break and I felt so much better when I spoke to my boss. You must do what is right for you. Ask for a phased return if you are able to. You are not alone in how you feel.