Hi my mum died 14th February, still in a lot of shock and struggling with it. But since the funeral on the 2nd march every where I look there’s adverts or emails about mother’s day. Is any one else not looking forward to mother’s day. And what are you doing for mother’s day?
I’m sorry for the recent loss of your mum. This will be the 3rd Mothers day without mine and it doesn’t get any easier.
I personally think mothers and fathers days are completely unnecessary and just another way to make money for companies.
Anyone with parents should make every day count, not just on a pre planned calender day.
I have started to accept requests to opt out of emails which I have started seeing this year but it doesn’t help much. We will still be bombarded with emails, adverts etc.
I’m afraid I’ve learnt to let it go over my head. I don’t acknowledge these days and just treat them as normal Sundays.
Hope you get through it OK.
This will be my 1st mother’s day without my mum. I lost my mum in December. I’m finding it hard seeing the stuff on the shops but somehow I’m still drawn to it. I have brought my mum card as it seems wierd not to buy one. I probably just spend it at home advoding social media
HI I lost my mum on March 1st .I’m apsolutley dreading Mothers day .I ve been today to see Mum she does look at peace and I do feel a bit calmer today .I m very angry .sad,low,all of them at minute why my mum ,she fought a long battle with Cancer and was so strong even at the end .I’m up and down waves come over me adverts,songs all different things make me cry .anyone else like this ?
I’m sorry for your loss I lost my mum in December to cancer aswell. My mum was only diagnosed last March. Your not alone on how you feel its really early days for you. Those 1st few weeks was the hardest for me as I had to deal with my first Christmas without my mum aswell. Just do what I have been doing since I lost my mum a day at a time
Christmas, Mother’s Day, her birthday - significant dates that crush us. Three each since mums passing except birthday sitting at two. Year one is hard.
I’d ignore if I could, every event of significance. Be a hermit. But it doesn’t help me. This year, I’m going to try embracing and enjoying the life she had and the live I should be looking forward to.
I keep drowning in my own misery of being sad. So I should put on the acting skills and show the brave face and fun, sunlight like persona. Dress well, like it or not. I’ll start to feel what I express to the world… will I?
I’m sorry for your loss. Perhaps try like I am, to act And kid myself into happiness. I mean, to a point it may be useful to test if it’s part of the solution.
Honestly don’t know if it’s valid or works for me. Just a thought to share with everyone and you. If you think it terrible advice, that’s great! Coz dismissing one idea, you might just hit a positive vibe that’s worthy for you.
I wish you the best for every next breath and more.
I think you’re right Neil
The first couple of years are spent in misery and feeling sorry for our loss. Year 3 and I’m trying to cheer up.
Mum has gone, nothing will change that but we are still alive and have to make the best of it.
I’m fed up of being miserable so have started to embrace life a bit more recently, although the weight of sadness is still very heavy.
It will be 3 years in June for me.
I’m dreading mothers day. Last year was hard. My mam died on March 3rd last year and the funeral wasn’t until 25th March. As the funeral was 3 weeks away so was mother’s day. They wouldn’t put my mam in the Chapel till a week before funeral for obvious reasons but that ment I couldn’t actually see her on mother’s day. Not that it would of made it better but it would of been a little help. My mind was still in shock and in bits. So this year with a year to process everything yes it will hit me worse than last year. Was her memory last week and that hit me hard even the run up to it. I don’t know what I want to do for mother’s day yet . I used to make her a lovely mothers day roast and a roast every other Sunday. I’ve not made one since she’s been gone. I just can’t face it xxx
Its a case of adapting and changing our lives. I also used to do a roast for my mum and I just don’t do them anymore. Maybe supermarket bought potatoes that just pop in the oven and prepared veg etc
I personally don’t find mothers day to be more unbearable than any other day although the bombardment of emails and adverts is too much and outdated in my opinion.
I am so sorry for your loss it will be my first Mother’s Day without mum. My mum passed away on January 2nd this year I am dreading mothers day. Sunday is going to be very painful and I will be alone I have no support and I will have to cope on my own. sending you hugs take care kate xxx
oh Kate I’m so sorry .I’m dreading it too .if you need to talk I’m here .xx
I’m not looking forward to Sunday either. I lost my mum on January 14th to cancer, 2 yrs 11 months after Dad. I found first fathers day without him very hard with FB, shops etc, the whole build up was worse than the day itself. Mothers day cards were in shops so early, I made a prat of myself in the post office at the sight of them when posting off a death certificate. Mothers day is different to fathers day though cos I’m a mum myself. I think I’ve made a plan with my sons otherwise I would ignore it. I’m probably dealing with traumatic grief and in and out of my brain freeze block or overwhelmed with so much to grieve for not sure where to start. Would be or is Dad’s birthday on 28th. So I’d say the first one is the worse and it’s awful timing. It’s very early days, just keep taking one day at a time for now x
Like us all, I am not looking forward to Mothers day. I’m glad my Son is working that day as it’s the first one I will be spending without my Mum. My plan is to get myself a nice new pair PJ’s, & spend the day on my own not having to put any kind of act on that I’m doing ok xx
My name is Jess. I’m 41. I lost my mum in November last year. She had bowel cancer and was aged 69. She died aged 70 but 4 days after her birthday. Even writing this seems so surreal. Like I still can’t quite believe it but obviously I know it’s true. I feel waves of pain then I almost forget. Then the pain again. Over and over.
Yes, mother’s day feels so weird. The first one without her, Christmas was awful without her but we just went through the motions. None of us was really there, it felt like a dream.
We did our best to make it nice but she always made Christmas so special.
She didn’t get to see her only grandson (my nephew) grow up. He had his first birthday the day after her 70th birthday. The image of her reaching out her fragile arm to wave at him is etched in my mind. I’m so sorry you didn’t get more time mum. She died 4 days later.
I miss her so much.
The pandemic IS (as it’s not over…) and has been very traumatic for me and I’m guessing alot of you here. When she had surgery my dad wasn’t allowed in to comfort her. The nurses didn’t have time to look after her properly I had to call up and complain. I wasn’t allowed into appointments. I was pertified of giving her covid. I even wore an adult nappy (much to my sisters amusement) in the car to see her over lockdown as I was so scared to pick up covid at the services.
Lastly, her diagnosis came late… she had been to the GP to complain of blood in her stool but was not referred. I am angry about this and plan to take it further when I have the strength.
Her treatment was gruelling. She had alot of chemo and a huge surgery in the 10 months from her diagnosis to her death. In highsight she shouldnt have had the surgery but she wanted a chance at life. She suffered so much. She was immobile and swollen and in pain. The wounds from her surgery didn’t heal for months. I nursed her. I have PTSD over this.
I work as a scientist and alot of my career has been in cancer research. Its hard even to focus on my work as I am constantly reminded of this terrible disease.
Love to you all and I am sorry for this long post.
If anyone can relate to any of this I would really appreciate a reply.
Hi Jess I lost my mum on 1st March to bowel cancer .Its horrendous seeing your love ones going through major surgery to try and get all of the cancer but then get told my mum needs chemo had one lot and was very I’ll off that to be tested and told she had a rare blood condition that chemo could not be used again .After 2half years of pain and scans and pain relief to be told its spread and is too far gone cant operate on .Mum decided enough was enough she didn’t want any more surgery or anything but pain relief she fought and fought to see her first great grandchild be born .,Mum then fell very poorly and was taken into hospital to be told it had spread again there was very little they could do apart from pain relief a week later she was taken to a hospice where she fought and fought for sevens weeks which were horrific to go through she sadly list her fight on the 1st March .myself my dad and brother were with her .It was heartbreaking and is still very roar.I have wobble days we call them one minute I’m ok next I’m crying .I still feel quite numb to be honest at minute I’ve had angry days but at the minute I’m numb.Its Mothers day on Sunday I’m dreading. My mum was fighting to be here for the birth of her second great grandchild who arrived on Friday .I know she will of been there.If you ever need a chat I’m here Sam
Same for me , I’m so worried about Mother’s Day .
I have 2 daughters who want to celebrate it with me but I don’t want too .
My mum died last June .
My first Mother’s Day withought my mum
Hi Jess and Sam. I lost Mum to bowel cancer too. She had a 10 hour op a week after Dad died and the last nearly 3 years were full on. I can barely read both your posts, but also back in numb blocking mode. Sounds like you are both dealing with traumatic grief like I am. In particular the last week let along month or what we didn’t realise was happening 6 months. I almost feel like I’m blocking the past out to avoid remembering the tough bits. Jane x
Kate, I’ll be thinking of you and sending you positivity. My first Mother’s Day without my dear dear mum too
Yes I am dreading it , I lost my mum only a few weeks ago and I am sick of seeing all the stuff its just everywhere! When I see it I kind off snap my head away and look away and in my head I sort of blank it out and pretend I haven’t seen it as otherwise its just so excruciatingly painful, I have been opting out where allowed of receiving messages about mothers days from businesses and in fact to some I have written and said will you please stop sending me these messages I have lost my mum and its very upsetting , some things I have just left and opted out completely , it is a very difficult , horrible time made worse by this global day that just highlights what we have lost … hugs xx