Motorbike crash

It was my 17 year old son’s funeral yesterday. He died 11 days ago after he crashed his motorbike. He was 2 minutes away from home. He died in the ambulance on the way to hospital. The following day we learned from his best friend that he had been a drug addict for several months and now I am full of so many emotions: shock, confusion, anger, sadness as I lost my beautiful boy and yet didn’t know who he was at the end of his short life.

To lose a child under such tragic circumstances must be devastating and I feel so sorry for you…I understand the emotions you are feeling after losing my son four months ago,I wish there was something I cold say to help but all I can offer is my deepest symphony…Thinking of you…Marina xx

Thank you. I know it’s early days and I know I have a long way to go before I can even begin to come to terms with his death. I just can’t cope with finding out more awful things about my son. I dread what else there is to unearth about him: he obviously hid his drug use well and I’m so saddened that he went down that path. He must have been in such turmoil. Breaks my heart to think about him needing to do those things.

Thank you for sharing your heart breaking story. You have clearly been through so much as a family and I can only take comfort from it knowing what happened to my son unlike your nephew. I truly hope he did manage to escape the life he was leading. I am sorry for all the tragic events you’ve lived through and can only offer you my sympathy x

Thank you. Its all just so hard isn’t it? X

Thank you Sheila. I am surrounded by loving family and friends - my husband is obviously devastated too. We also have two other sons - 21 years old and 6 years old. All of us are struggling or hurting in our own way but we are blessed to have so many people offering their support. It will take time I know. The pain which hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt - even with the death of both my parents - will hopefully lessen over time. But for now all I can do is think about my darling son and wonder why this had to happen.

Catherine x

I am very sorry to hear of such tragic things. You are a wonderful person and I am sorry these things happen to nice people. I do hope in time the pain will lessen and I do hope you have as much support as you need.

Thank you x

My son was 17 when he died suddenly almost 3 years ago. He too had been experimenting with drugs , but that wasn’t what caused his death , any more than in your son’s case . Many teenagers experiment with drugs at that age . Some I imagine go on to become addicts but my feeling is that the vast majority do not . Neither of us knows whether our sons would have become addicted in later life but I would urge you to treat with a great deal of caution the description of him as an addict by his friend, who I assume was the same age as your son. Try not dwell on it if you can . Its still incredibly early days and what has happened will be with you for ever, as I know it will be for me, but it does get slightly easier to cope as time passes . I won’t ever forget Nick , he did things I didn’t want him to do but that doesn’t change anything ; he was and is my son, and I love him more than words can say .Paul

Few of us are really the people inside that we choose to show to the world. We all have our secrets, our daemons and our issues. I suspect that, if you ask yourself, “are there things about me that I never told my son, things that I would be embarrassed, maybe even ashamed about?” there will be things you would choose to not share or reveal. Your son was at an age when he was discovering himself and his place in this world, he made mistakes just as his friends are no doubt doing and you probably did when you were his age. I very much doubt that he was a “drug addict”, like many of his peers he no doubt experimented, most of them do. Had he not been so tragically taken away from you he would probably have come to realise that he was taking a wrong path and, also like most of his peers, would have changed, become a responsible adult and, in time, a loving parent like you. Remember him for what he was, grieve for what he never had the chance to become but don’t freeze his memory in a tragic snapshot. Remember him at his best; your “beautiful boy”.