Moving forward with him x

Losing a partner
1

Ok, so I have to make changes and make an international move back to the UK to be with my friends and family.

It is simply the hardest thing I have had to do. This forum has taught me that:

  1. Your grief is your own
  2. Only you know the answers as to what is right for you
  3. People who you thought would be there for you sometimes aren’t. People who you thought would not be there are there for you in ways you would never dream of.
  4. And much more…

I have cleared out my husband’s closet and shoes today. Not because I want to but because I need to move forward with him to a different life because everything has changed… I miss him and his love so much. His scent was on his clothes and it was so upsetting.

This pain is indescribable. Some things I find make me smile and laugh and I feel his love deep inside. Other things make me lie on and cry on the floor for 30 minutes at a time.

I am just so grateful for the kindness and love in this world , especially that which he gave to me. I know he never wanted to leave me and wish he had never died so suddenly (just coming up on one year anniversary) and I want to give back to life on his behalf. He was such a beautiful and brave man. I want to help others and pass on the love and lessons that he showed me.

I am only 48. Everyone has their own journey but at the end of it if we can give more than we take from life then we have contributed on behalf of those who have invested so much love and faith in us and we have collectively made the world a better place.

Love to everyone as we all find our way with the help of this amazing community. If such love produces grief then perhaps such grief can produce love xx

16 Likes
2

You are so brave. I can’t stop crying this morning. I feel so lonely without my husband

3

Love to you all, another day to get through, it’s hard …sue x x

4

Thank you so much for this message, I’ve come to exactly the same conclusions about the grief being just mine- i know that, however hard it is, I must take responsibility for it and I must do only what’s right for me. I’m going to be moving from this city that I was only still living in to be with him- we were going to move 150 miles to where my family live, together. I will pack up this house and shut the door with great sadness, I will keep working full time instead of being able to going part time like we had planned. I do believe that there will be something for me to be happy for in the future, at some point.
Best of luck with your move
Sophie x

3 Likes
5

So today I moved.

I expected a flood of tears and a complete inability to operate in any meaningful way.

However, as is this unpredictable world of grief I felt energized. As if my beautiful husband and I were embarking on a new adventure.

How I love him and miss him.

Love to all of you xx

4 Likes
6

I’m glad you’ve got that done, and you give me hope for my move too. Wishing you great luck and love as you go into this next phase of your life :heart:
Sophie x

7

Thank you Sophie. Now, days later, the tears just flow and flow, seemingly with no end. However sad I am, I know it is the right decision and he would want to see me do this. I am glad that my post has given you hope. Please let us know how it goes X

1 Like