Hello
I’ve got to move out of the home I shared with my mother before she died, and back to my studio flat. It’s been the family home since 1979.
What with my health issues/financial strain/ trying to apply for benefits I feel quite overwhelmed.
I can’t see how I can fit my own things in one room, let alone any mementos of my parents.
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Dear Helencl,
3 years ago my sisters and I had to empty out our parents’ home. I took lots of pictures, both of the rooms and of ornaments. Most of what was in their home had to be given away and we did our best to find a good home for all of it. Between us, we chose all the things we wanted to keep or box up to sort later (my parents did not own their home, so we only had about 6 weeks to empty the house). Having gone through this, I think I can understand how you must feel at the moment. Is there anyone you can ask to help you? For example to sort out things that have no emotional value? Or to take things to a charity shop for you. Maybe there is a friend or family member with a loft or garage where you could store some boxes with things you want to decide on later? How much time do you have been before you have to move out?
With regards to your financial issues, is there a Citizen’s Advice Bureau near you that you can contact for advice and help in sorting out benefits?
Sending you a big virtual hug. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or just want to chat. xx Jo
Thanks Jo.
There is a van coming on Friday to move what fits in my flat. The house isn’t on the market, but there’s nowhere to store things. My brother’s taking a few bits. Unfortunately everything feels emotional if it’s my mum’s. I have left the essential ‘her’ clothes shoes and bags in her wardrobe.
A couple of people help me pack once a week, and one is taking some lightweight stuff over to my flat on Thursday. But it needs two people for a week/with transport/and to clean the house.
A charity worker is helping me to claim benefits, but it’s very complicated. No guarantees/delay of five weeks/not eligible until I’m in my flat. It’s funny how there is so much help available, until you need it and then you’re not eligible!
My medical notes are incomplete and don’t back me up for the benefit applications; although I have 3 fit notes. I think the system is designed to make people give up claiming.
I’m waiting on an assessment for a pain management clinic,which might help.
Sorry to go on. Thanks for caring.
Thanks for taking the time to replyto my post, I really appreciate that. I am glad to hear that you are having some help and have been able to make a start. If you have lots of large items, here may be charity shops that are happy to come and collect them for free. When we had to clear my mother-in-law’s house this year, we found a few that offered this service (such as British Heart Foundation). In the end, we chose to give it to the local hospice charity and they were really helpful.
Hopefully you will soon get help with your health issues. Pain can be very debilitating. The benefits system sounds like a maze to me, I would not know where to start. Fortunately I have never needed it, but from others who did I know how frustrating it can be to deal with all the paperwork and obstacles. Yes, it does seem like the powers to be want people who really do need it to give up on claiming, but if yiu are entitled to it, then don’t give up.
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