Moving home

Well, ive done it. Moved house. My partner died in March (heart failure - found him dead in the bath). We were going to move anyway as new housing estate being built in 2024 right next to us. I decided to buy what i thought would be somewhere I’d make a new start in (im 70) and have bought a cottage whicj is nearly 300 years old about 5 miles away in a quiet village. I needed peace and a project. Ive been here about 2 weeks and loathe the place. Its got so many issues and ive already had to speak to the neighbour about their dog’s constant barking which can be heard in every room. It was a bad, bad decision. My partner would never have even viewed it. Everyone says its nice but i’m missing my old neighbours and their support. It was a choice made from fear of the developers vs jump into the unknown. I would have been better doing what everyone expected me to do - downsize to a bungalow (v expensive and rare n this area) but no - not me - i went against all my principles of extreme caution and jumped. Im now left with not only grief for my partner but fear and regret and i hate living alone here.


Hi Erin
I do feel for you
Remember you don’t have to stay at this place for ever and at the same time it will take you time to get used to the new place

I moved 2 years after my husband died - and it took me a long time to get used to it - now after 3 years of living here I like it even though life here is very different than I thought it would have been

Give yourself time and be kind to yourself


Hi erindoors.
We moved in April from the previous house of 20 years. Colin died in the July so we only had a few months together in this house and at first, that is what i called it, a house not home. Coming back from the hospital that day, i hated it, i wish we had stayed where we were. Our neighbours were fantastic and i missed the homely feeling we had there. But do you know what?, these last few days, i have come to realise that no matter where i am, he is with me and if he is with me, then that is home. My new neighbour’s are lovely once i got speaking to them and i was surprised that one of them is going through the same thing after losing her husband.
House problems can be fix, the neighbours will become friends, go explore the village it does sound idyllic. Just give yourself time to adjust. Be kind to yourself.

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Thank you for replying and im so sorry to hear you only had such a short time together and have been put through similar pain. Unfortunately the lady dog sitter i had to complain about the dog to (put a note thru the door after it had barked solidly for 2 hours and i couldnt get a reply from her) has confronted me and said i shouldnt have moved to an area with dogs - she was particularly nasty and it has left me in tears. Ive never had confrontations with neighbours before and this is a bad start. So - im hating this place even more than ever now.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with such an ignorant person.
You wrote she was the dog sitter, does that mean that the owners of the dog are at work? I wonder if that is the case, you should try and speak to them. They might not even know that their dog seems to be upset about something and that the dog sitter is crap at her job. Keep the note also just incase the owners of the dog are sympathetic. Try not to let an
ignoramus upset you hun. They are not worth the tears or the time.

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Owners are on holiday - always use this sitter - she was lovely at the start and chatty. I guess she’s viewed it as a smudge on her unblemished record - but i just needed her to get the dog away from my walls - i didnt know she was out (which is why the dog was carrying on apparently). I will try and smooth things over with the owners who seem to dote on this dog - it barks hysterically when he/she is talking to anyone - attention seeking. Dont get me wrong - i love animals! Finding my love dead in the bath has left me very susceptible to noise or disturbance (form of PTSD) so i cant cope with barking excessively or too much noise - freaks me out. At present i feel like running far away and not stopping.