Thank you for your kind comments. I am a little nervous about the cruise if I’m honest but I will have a sense of freedom and control. I just want to be treated like a normal person and not someone to be pitied any more. I’m quite a private person but sociable at the same time. I enjoy meeting new people so I view this cruise as a sort of coming out whether good or bad experience. Others won’t know my circumstances unless I choose to tell them. I’m hoping getting away from the home will break the cycle of loneliness for me and give family their own space. I’m mindful my daughters have lost their dad and their first big loss and being daughters their dad had a special bond with them both. We need to press on and move at our own pace to heal and eventually feel joy again. I’m blessed to have had 50 years with my husband and my joy is knowing we will be reunited again. My family also need me. It doesn’t take away my deep sorrow though, not yet. My husband and I spoke about our deaths and neither of us wanted grief to overwhelm us or prevent us from enjoying life again. I’ve had a whole load of emotions all related to grief. I feel it’s the right time for me to find a way forward now. God can still bring his joy and comfort. We all have a purpose in this life and our brokenness can be used for the good of others. I love my God and whilst I’m very sad I’m also joyful and hopeful for the future. I always said to my husband we are blessed as a family to know God is real and I still feel that way. I will share my cruise experience and hopefully will bring positive experiences to share. God bless !
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