I realise this is a controversial subject.
I met a past work colleague today - after two passed husbands thru illness - she has married for a third time.
My thought for posting this is , for some, it may horrify them, but does it not only show that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and for her she is moving on with the rest of her life?
I think sometimes its the language that is used. Moving on sounds like you are leaving something behind, like you move away etc and perhaps that isn’t right. Maybe we should describe it as continuing on like you continue a journey , it’s all intertwined. Those people we have lost are an integral part of the journey then, now and in the future because they shaped up.
Bit philosophical for a Monday!!
Yes, she is moving on or continuing her journey - the best way she thinks is for her.
I posted this to give a little insight to those that might think “what now”.
It’s all about making the best of what you can’t change but you can build on.
This is a subject I have been thinking about recently.
I lost my soulmate 8 months ago very suddenly and unexpectedly, we had been together for 5 blissful years and were planning to marry.
I now keep thinking about a couple of conversations we had, we both agreed that if anything ever happened to one of us we would like the other to carry on and try to find love again, never in my wildest dreams did I think it would actually happen.
I was 55 when we met and Pete was 54, neither of us had ever experienced true love before and we felt we were so lucky to have found each other and would marvel at how happy we were and how wonderful it felt every day.
Then tragedy struck and the love of my life collapsed and died. My whole world fell apart and I am completely heartbroken.
I’m 61 now and l find it really difficult to think about the future, I feel so sad and lonely, my dogs are the only thing that keep me going.
I know I have Petes approval to “move on” or “continue” but could never imagine finding that kind of love again.
I know in my heart he would want me to try but it feels impossible, he always used to say that he lived every day like it was his last and that a day doing nothing was a day wasted and I used to agree but now I’ve found myself in this position, I realise it’s easier said than than done!
Maybe rather than another romantic relationship it will be something else that gives you an extra meaning and that very special love you have for Pete will continue alongside. Maybe the meaningful, loving relationship of the future will be platonic or as part of a group, a hobby, a charity role.
I know a widowed friend of mine is determined to find a new partner before the year is out but you can’t just mail order them and you can’t replace people. But I understand the feeling of wanting that type of anchor and connection. It’s wonderful for those it does happen for but as so often said on these pages everyone is different and we never know what is around the corner.
What is annoying, frightening, scary etc is we can’t force these things, no magic pills etc.
I an’t be philosophical two days in a row!!
Hope you have a gentle, good day.