Moving on

So I lost my partner 2 years ago, they passed away in their sleep and I have managed to accept that and find someone I love very much, however, I find myself staying awake all night long just to check that they are moving and breathing, I am so scared to wake up next to someone I love so much again and find them like that again. I don’tknow how to stop myself from expecting it to happen again. I’m always scared, I’m always waking up after a bad dream during the day when my partner is awake, after having a nightmare that they are dead, just like my last partner… What can I do?

Hello Lee. I am so glad you have once again found happiness, but I would say that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. My friend lost her husband from cancer and has now just lost her son from the same disease, all she now thinks about is 'what if it happen’s to her other son’s. There are many what if’s when you lose someone you love but at the end of the day there is not a darned thing you can do about it. Terrible things happen and if we had a crystal ball to see into the future we could stop them from happening but we don’t have one so have to live our lives the very best we can do, because living in fear is not living at all. Be happy and enjoy your life with your new love, don’t let something that might never happen again spoil it because it will make both of you unhappy. No matter how many years you have left to live, live them to the full so you will have no regrets. Take care. Sheila xxxx