Moving on

It’s 9 weeks since losing my mum suddenly. I thought I was coping but I feel worse if that’s possible after first few weeks. I’m caring for dad who’s recovering from an operation. He’s 89 tmw and I feel like I’m on edge of losing him too. I don’t know how to move forward from feeling exhausted/sad/pointless. I know my mum would not want me to be like this. I am grateful for what we had and the happy memories so I feel guilty too for how I’m feeling. Most people expect you to ‘get over it’ especially when person that died is elderly… I lost my brother when he was in his teens so I know that grief never ends but just gets less overwhelming. I can only hope they are together now.


I feel for you. I lost my mum aged 90 three months ago. I found the weeks after the funeral were very tough and still are. But coping a little better. Don’t let anyone tell you to ‘get over it’, because you never will. You’ll “cope better”. Apparently, on me reading books recently, your grief will stay the same, but your world will grow around the grief, if that makes sense, so it becomes more bearable! But you’ll never ‘get over it’ (so to speak). Take care and just take one day at a time. Don’t look towards tomorrow, concentrate on today. Hugs. xx


Thankyou :two_hearts: my husband has been brilliant at supporting around the practical stuff and keeping us fed and shopping done but is very black and white in approach and has lacked the emotional understanding that I’ve needed, despite losing both his parents. I guess that’s a classic example of how different people cope :woman_shrugging:talking here helps amongst people with similar experiences

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Hi, I really think you should be kinder to yourself… it’s sounds like you’re doing an amazing job of coping with this difficult time. Make sure you’re looking after yourself as well as supporting your Dad. You also need time to process the loss you’ve suffered. It’s still very early days so expect your feelings to fluctuate. There’s certainly no time line to grief, its sharpness can arise at any moment. I’m seven months on from the death of my Mum and I still feel a huge weight of sadness that drags me down until the feeling passes. Take care xx