Have you moved on since your spouse died?
I haven’t achieved what I wish I had by 18 months.
I am trying to do so.
Before he died I didnt imagine this brain fog would get so much in the way.
Today I decided I was going to attend the WI open social event alone.
I recall ages ago I found it cliquey but I am just going to go whatever.
If i feel uncomfortable then I won’t stay. I have been trying on clothes ready to try to fit in but don’t know if it will be set hair dos and designer clothes. I don’t have that luxury.
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Good luck. I’m glad you’re trying to get out.
I really wouldnt wory about what to wear. Just be you. If “you” isnt good enough then you don’t need them in your life.
I have been socialising but only with good friends.
I don’t seem to be able to move on. But its only 3 months so maybe its too soon.
Big hugs x
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I cant even managed to walk outside since my husband passed 5 weeks and 3 days ago. All the grief consumes me and the pit of my stomach aches for all this pain to pass. Cant see a future and cant seem to process what happened. I just keep coming back to the day i was told he was dead. Ive felt grief before when my dad passed but nothing so raw as this. Hugs to you all for being brave xx
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I hope you go and if its not for you its not a problem i lost my husbad 10 months ago thought about WI but not quite got there…good lick
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I understand how you are feeling my partner passed away on the 14th April. The anxiety is awful but it honestly helps to go out and about. I really struggled to but pushed myself,.it gets easier and breaks up the horrible thoughts. Have you a friend or family to go for a coffee, walk or to the the shops with? It really does help getting out and the anxiety passes once you have gone out. Hope that makes sense.
Sending love and strength 
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I dont have any friends who live near me and my kids all work fulltime. So I’m very alone. 
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Bless you. Could you talk to your kids and and maybe plan a day each with them before or after work to take you somewhere. This may help?xx
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I find it difficult to ask married friends because they just go with their husband or their other friends. Newly bereaved are all away on holiday and I am used to just going if I can. That way no pressure to have to sit it out if it is not for me.
Yes have decided to just be comfortably me.
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When I went last night my neighbour was there too. Chatted to a Danish woman.
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Hello Enorac. I lost my husband in February so nearly 4 months now. We were both on second marriages and had been together for 10 years. They were the happiest 10 years of my life and then suddenly he was gone. I have never felt such grief before, even when i lost my daughter to Cancer at age 40. It hit me like a tidal wave and i felt i was grieving for everyone i had ever lost. I am blessed with supporting family and friends and have received a lot of help from the Grief Works app. It has helped me be more positive and taught me such a lot about grief. I had to vacate my husband’s house as it now belongs to his adult children but i have just moved into a lovely little house very near to my son-in-law and grandchildren. I feel as if i have come home. I too have been keeping a journal which has helped me a lot. You will be able to move on but dont expect it to happen overnight. Like grief, its a journey we have to go on. Very best wishes for your journey
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Hi @Enorac - baby steps as they say xxx im at 17 months nearly 18 months soon 
where has time gone ? It feels like it all happened only a while ago when the bottom of our world fell out ! Its been so tough and so lonely. You do whatever makes you happy … we been through enough so do whatever is best for you xxx
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Thank you for your support. Im just trying to take one day at a time. But this grief is a long road and hard. Hope your doing ok , 
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I think grief has made me over sensitive. I went to the choral evensong yesterday. The first time in ages. I wanted to listen to the choir singing and the organist.
The music was very beautiful. Of course my mind wandered to my husband’s funeral there. Someone was being kind and making conversation. She said you do not have to stay (misunderstanding) so I said but the music is what I have come for.
I then went to clean off the pigeon poo from my husband’s memorial bench in the churchyard behind and remark my baby’s headstone with a black marker where the lettering was unreadable.
I haven’t accepted yet that the reason to go to the service was the same as the others. But I found the words of the liturgy comforting.
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Hi @N8658
I’m doing ok, thanks for asking. Hope things are getting better for you
Hopefully you talked to your kids for some support
Xx
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Katyh
Well my son is autistic and my other son snowed under at the moment.
So they are trying to cope themselves with loss too. In 18 months since David died it has been a rollercoaster and not that simple. It has to be both ways. When you are a carer it is tricky when you have to care for others too.
Looking back we have had lots of adjustments to make.
I struggle to get across at 80 this year I simply haven’t resources what with my own disabilities and bereavement fog. But I still struggle along. What else when it is not simple answer? Unless in someone else’s shoes.
I don’t expect solutions where I can’t change only change what I can and hope for wisdom to know difference like the saying goes.
Was reading a book today about living in a mess. Not just practically but emotionally when too much to do. Was saying have to find the path can do let go what can’t do so you have time to live and enjoy. Only just coming out of the dark dark days to sometimes find joy in the moment. A squirrel was in my garden when cat was indoors. That doesn’t happen often that they scamper over my grass and find something to eat. But they like the food I throw out for the birds. I do that because my late husband used to do it and there is no need to make bread pudding like I used to with only me here. Birds come and he loved birds. So do I. Love their singing. I lost my giant poppies because he wasn’t there to weed and protect them. But a few survived where I couldn’t get to in the patio and under a bush so will try to introduce them hopefully back again.
There is a bush in wonderful flower and it brings me a lot of pleasure knowing even though I hacked it any old how it was ok. I am hacking bushes to stop them encroaching too much. I enjoy making flower arrangements with bits and bobs.
At last my seedlings are germinating inside trying to protect from slugs.
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