Mr

I am 56 years old widower I lost my wife 4 months ago and I am struggling to make sence of it. I love my wife and miss her so much .I hope it will help me speaking to people in the same situation as myself because I don’t think if you have not experienced losing a partner you could never understand how we feel .I have loads of family support but they don’t understand how painful it’s is they can only try be there.

Hi im a 59 year old widower (04032016) there is no sence to your nightmare .Its wonderful you have family ,im all alone in my nightmare .Coming here helps me because people understand ,theres no right or wrong way to grieve and unfortunately .The phrase how long is a piece of string fits this .Ive tried counselling (it worked for me ) im also on anti depressants ,and i have a montly appointment with my doctor.I sought medical help very fast some people do it other ways .On here no one will judge come and vent here as often as you want .This site never closes its open 247 365 try to take care of yourself ,try have some me time because your heart,soul and mind need a rest from the nightmare ,that unfortunately waits for you to return to it I hope ive helped i dont wish in anyway to offend you Colin

Hi Colin and Ian . My husband died suddenly from a cardiac arrest at home with me one morning 9 weeks ago . He was 60 and I am 58 and we have been together 42 years and married 33 . I am still in shock about what happened I think . We have a garage and I have had to get more involved in running the business which has been a steep learning curve . I have children , my mum ,friends , …but nothing can make up for the loss of my husband . I miss him everyday …all day …as I expect you do with your lovely wives . Talking to others on the site has really helped me when I have been feeling down which is a regular thing for me now in spite of me carrying on with all my usual tasks which keep me busy and taking on new ones involved in the running of the business . I wish I had an easy answer for us all but I don’t . We just have to keep plodding on . Make the most of any support you’ve got around you . Talk to people on here . Try and find some stuff that makes you happy every day even if it’s just for a short time to give your brain a break from the grief . You will carry your loved ones with you every day in your heart and soul. But try to be kind to yourselves too . Your wives would want that for you both I’m sure . Sending hugs to you and everyone else who is struggling at the moment . Romy xxx

Hi
I am also a widower at 52.
My wife died 3 months ago and I’m totally devastated. I also have family support but as you say the longing and loneliness is unbearable. I have started councilling and it is helping. Please get as much support as you can and keep posting on here it will help.
Take care
William

I am 68 and my wife died 52 days ago. I’ve found my grief can become very debilitating, especially if I stop and think too deeply about things. We were an item for 49 years and married for 44. I’m very glad that we have 4 children and they are some comfort to me. I have tried to get out of the house as much as possible. I know it is impossible to rebuild my previous life and so I am trying to put some foundations in place to build a new life. I think that can only be done very slowly and I don’t feel capable of making any big decisions. I have joined a number of groups with U3A and that acts as a bit of distraction. I’ve found it useful to talk to new people about new things. I can’t actually get enthusiastic about anything and I feel to be trying to act out a part but maybe over time things will improve and a speck of light will appear at the end of the tunnel. I’ve found that some things will have an almost guaranteed reaction such as looking at photographs. It’s almost like a tsunami of grief washes over me and I need to hold onto something for support. Recently I went over 30 hours without speaking to another person and I survived that so I applauded myself for that, although at the time I didn’t think much about it. I don’t think my wife would have been to impressed at the thought of me moping around. She always has encouraged me to develop my own interests and to do things that didn’t include her. I’m really grateful for that. It seems common on here, from what I’ve read, that people are concerned about their future existence without the one they’ve lost and I’m just the same. Due to the nature of time we can only move forward and each new day is a new beginning. By taking small steps and frequent rests I’m hopeful that I can shape something a little less painful… Or better still, a lot less painful. I just need to learn how to adapt and carry things with me in a different manner.

Hi I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48 and I’m only 50 I have my 2 sons who still live with me and have great support from family and friends but they can’t understand what I am going through everybody gets on with there lives but mines has changed forever I’m glad I found this site because it does help to talk to other people who are going through the same heartache.
Christine x

It really does help Christine . I’ve only used it for a week or so but I’m so glad to have found it . It means I can share how I am feeling with others in the same boat because I don’t want to burden my children and elderly mum with every thought that pops into my head cos they are grieving too . And friends who have not been widowed themselves just don’t understand the depth of grief I am feeling every day even though they try bless them . Make the most of any support available to get you through the day and that includes posting on this site . Thank you everyone so far who has responded to me . It really has made a world of difference to me . Romy xxx

Hi thank you for your reply it’s nice to share thoughts with other people in Same situation. I tried to find places in leeds like bereavement groups to go to but can’t seem to find any do you have and advice.cheers

Thank you for you support it’s nice to speak to people in Same situation. I have tried looking for bereavement groups in leeds to attend but can’t seem to find any could you give me any advice as I think it would be helpful to speak to people in Same situation.

Thanks for your support it’s nice to speak to people in Same situation.

Hi thank you for reply it’s really nice to speak to people in Same situation. I have tried to join berevment groups in leeds .it would be nice to talk in a group to get other people’s thoughts but I can’t find any do you have any advice. Many thanks x

Is there anyone in this forum who is from the Yorkshire area of leeds and surrounding areas I am trying to find a berevment group to join but have had no luck in my search would much appreciated anyone’s help thanks

I know that the Sue Ryder hospice at Manorlands have bereavement groups. My wife was in the hospice there earlier this year and I was very impressed with their support network. I have a friend who has received support from them after his wife died there. There is a Sue Ryder Hospice in Leeds and you could contact them for information. I think it is called Wheatland.

Hi Ian . I’m from South Wales so can’t make any suggestions in relation to bereavement groups local to you . Sorry . Yorkshire lad has some advice I think . Hope you find something suitable you can attend . Romy xxx

Thank you for that much appreciated.

Hi romy like yourself I try not to burden my family with how I am feeling sometimes which is hard when I feel so down I did do counselling over the phone which helped a bit but speaking to everyone on this site is helping.
Christine x

I lost my wife in May she was only 50 I know how you feel and hope you and your family are ok.i have just joined the site yesterday so hoping to get some good advice and help from people who understand how I feel take care x

It’s helping me too Christine . It’s a bit of a lifeline at the moment to be honest . One minute I’m really down the next minute I’m really angry . Not with my husband . Just with what’s happened . And sometimes I think people forget that until 9 weeks ago I was very happily married and looking forward to stuff with my husband and my family . Now I feel like some people around me are treating me like I’ve died too …and I don’t exist . It’s probably just me at the moment . My head is all over the place . I think it’s the shock . Thank you for listening . Romy xxx

Life can be so unfair hope you are getting lots of support.
Take care
Christine x

Our emotions are all over the place which is expected like yourself I am in shock, angry, sad, want to scream sometimes.
Take care
Christine x

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