Hi I’m new here. Im not sure if this is the right place for me as it all seems to be about losing one person but I have lost so many friends its not normal. I just lost two close friends in the past 3 months, one was my ex and i saw him in palliative care with cancer. 2 years ago I lost one of my best friends age 33. The year before that I lost a friend aged 45, two year a before that a friend age 42 and another friend age 55, both whom I’d known for 20 years. Two years before that a friend died of an overdose and I saw him in a coma. About 15 years ago a man I loved ended his life. 20 years ago another friend ended his life and another friend fell off a balcony and 25 years ago at age 21 my first love died in a car crash. People say im resilient but its just not ok or normal. Nobody understands even grief groups are all about losing a loved one. What about losing so many how am I supposed to cope?
Hi Sian, I’m sorry to hear your history of bereavements. On this site there are quite a few people in similar situations who have lost multiple members of family and loved ones. In fact as you age it’s difficult not to have lost a lot of people close to you. I’m sure that between all your bereavements there will be those that have had a much more profound affect on you and at the end of the day the important thing is how we try and cope when we are devastated by grief and everyone here tries to help eachother, by listening and exchanging their experiences. I hope you find some solace here
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
Thankyou for your reply. It really helps to know that I’m not the only one. It’s coping with it that is the problem. I find that over the past 3 weeks it has been getting a little easier as I have stopped drinking and I have been able to feel the feelings as they arise and am able to let them through. But they can be so overwhelming at times and I can see why I turned to alcohol in the first place because these feelings are unbearable sometimes. Thankyou so much for your response, I feel heard
Hi Sian, It might be useful having some therapy as many people here have also done. It’s important to express your feelings and work through how they are affecting you. Talking to your GP could be a good start.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
I’ve been going through a similar thing, lost my Mum to cancer in August last year, lost my Dad to an infection in January this year, so 4 months apart, and my partner has terminal cancer and has been given only weeks to live. He will be the second partner to go, lost a previous partner to suicide about 25 years ago, so there is older grief making an appearance too.
I’ve been a carer for both parents as well, and currently doing a lot of the caretaking for my partner too. The feeling of being on constant high alert, and grieving for my parents, having bad news after bad news, and also the heavy going death admin, I think its being on a numb state of autopilot that is currently keeping me going.
Caught up with an old friend, also had several family deaths in a row over the past year, and told me after the last death he had crashed from extreme burnout, took him a couple months to recover. So I’m being mindful of that, the cumulative grief will be catching up eventually.
You’ve been through a lot and then to be losing your partner it sounds so hard. I hear you about the bad news after bad news I honestly don’t want to answer the phone sometimes I just think, who’s died now. It’s a lot to cope with.
Yeah I’m in therapy for it at the moment. Ive been in therapy for 5 years. It does help somewhat but it has its limits.