I don’t really know what I am achieving by writing here, just that I need someone to talk to because I’m becoming an angry person who doesn’t talk to anyone about the pain she suffers.
I lost my Mum 6 years ago to cancer and my dad 1 year ago to cancer, they were both very young and in my 30s I never expected to be ‘orphaned’.
When I’m on my own, I cry, I’m sad, I think of them and I think how unfair it is that I’m left here. But when I’m not alone, I can’t talk to anyone that truly understands the devastating loss and the entire feeling of misplacement and feeling unsettled.
My past is entirely erased, and although I remember parts of it, I have no one to ask of my two young sons are ‘like me when I was there age’. It feels horribly unfair that I lost both of my parents, and that I have to spend the rest of my life without them.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this.
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Hello @haybee19,
Thank you for bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of both your mum and your dad. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of pain, not just from losing them both to cancer but also from losing shared history and memories. It’s completely understandable that you feel angry and that things feel unfair. Many people will be able to relate to feeling disconnected and unsettled after losing both parents at a young age.
You might want to take a look at Let’s Talk About Loss. They run peer-led groups for people aged 18–35 who have experienced bereavement, and some members have also lost both parents. You can find your local group on their website:
We also have some information on losing a parent which may be helpful.
Many people in our community have experienced more than one bereavement, and while every loss is different, there can be comfort in connecting with others who understand what it feels like. You may find it helpful to read some of their posts here.
I’m sure other members will be along to share their experiences, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that you’ve been heard, and that you’re not alone.
Take care,
Harriet