Mum and dad died so close together

I have lost both my mum and dad within 2 weeks for eachother in july this year. My mum went into hospital with jaundice and died of an aggresive blood cancer 8 weeks later. We were told 3 days before she passed that she had days to live and they were putting her on end of life care. We were absolutely devastated, shocked as we thought she would get better but it wasnt to be. Then exactly 2 weeks later i had a message from a neighbour to say you need to get round to your dads house as he isnt very well. The ambulance and fire brigade were there by the time we got there and we were told that he has passed very peacefully in his favourite chair. Im finding it quite difficult each day, some days are easier than others but i looked after mum everyday for 4 years so we were very close she was like my best friend. I miss calling her on the phone when i have some news and just miss seeing her beautiful face and miss her cheeky wit. I was building up a different relationship up with dad too which i feel robbed as he opened up to me so much before he died…i just feel so lost. My family are amazing but i just still feel so isolated and lonley even though i have my family.


I’m so sorry for your losses. I also lost both of my parents a few months ago. My dad passed away 3 days after my mum’s funeral.
You’re most probably still in shock as it is so raw. I went to a very weird place whilst organising the funerals.
Has the funerals taken place yet? I did find a little relief once the funerals took place and that they were buried next to each other.
You’re going to feel a big void. I still want to pick up the phone to call my mum at the weekends and then having reality hitting me each time and me asking, is she really gone? Like, really?
Grief is a very lonely and personal journey. Talking to others on here really helps as we’re going through the same difficult journeys. I went through some very strange moments and posted on here to ask others if it were even normal. Please keep posting here…we’re all here for each other. Take care xx

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Thanks so much and im so sorry for your losses too…you seem to know exactly how i feel as its pretty much the same. Im sure this will help a lot reading how others are feeling and how other people cope. I totally get the ‘weird’ feelings and strange moments and im definately feeling the shock waves of everything happening so suddenly. Their funerals were a week last thursday together which was surreal. I feel almost angry this week but trying not to show it as that doesnt help anyone. I hope this eases eventually

@Star5 oh, I went through a very angry phase too and I had to work from home for a quite a while before returning to the office as I felt that I would lose it if someone said the usual cliché phrases like, you’ll get there, it’ll get easier blah blah. I was not in the mood to hear all of that. I know people mean well but my emotions were not ready for any of it.
You will likely keep going from one emotion to another really quickly. The whole emotional roller coaster describes it to a tee. Also, it hits you at the strangest moments. My mum used to love eating french fries. I find myself having a mini meltdown everytime I make french fries.
Try and think of all the good/happy memories and cherish them with all your heart.

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@Star5 I am so sorry that you have lost your parents so close together. I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my husband at Christmas. He was just 53 years old. My whole world is gone along with our future plans and dreams have been robbed. Could be on my own for the next 25/30; years. I feel so lonely without him and miss him so much. The only comfort that you can get is that your mum and dad won’t be going through the pain of losing each other and are together Xx

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Thanks for your message im so very sorry to hear the passing of your husband. I can imagine you are going through major emotions and the loss of your husband is incomprehensible like you said so many dreams and future plans shattered. I hope you have support around you. Even though grief can feel very lonely and isolating which is how i feel it is always lovely to have people around you just to listen if anything. I find it harder at night although the days are very painful this week for me at the moment. My thoughts are with you x

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@Star5 thank you for your kind words…yes it is so hard and so unfair. I am lucky that I have some good friends who are supporting me. Hope you have received support also. Take care and big hugs xx


Hi Star,
Aww my heart goes out to you.How cruel this world is sometimes.
Words fail me as I have no idea what it must be like to lose both parents in such a short spell of time.
I joined this group last Jan after my mum passed and I can honestly say it saved my life.People on here will help you get through it by replying with the most sensible answers and you soon realise that people truly understand due to going through it themselves and experiencing all the emotions you are going through.
Please keep posting as it certainly helped me.
Thinking of you

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I’m so sorry for your loss of both your parents. It’s incredibly painful to lose the 2 most important people in your life anyway but so close can feel like agony. I lost both my parents nearly a year ago, 15 days apart , they were both 93. I’m glad they didnt have to live without each other but it’s overwhelming even now, particularly with the first anniversary coming up. I feel incredibly lonely.

Hi bea im so sorry that you feel so lonely. Of what i have picked up from other people and also how i feel it is a very lonely and isolating time when you lose loved ones. Your story is so very similar to mine in losing both parents so soon after one another. A lot of people have said at least they are now together or it looked like they couldnt live without eachother not even in death…i just nod but in reality it doesnt help us who are ‘left’ behind.
Do you have people around you, friends, other family that you could lean on when you are feeling low or lost. Sometimes a chat with someone you trust can help so much. I have found this as you dont feel judged for still grieving and to be made to feel like 'it’s ok to still be sad. They were your parents, the most important people in your entire life. They were for me my rock, my shield and they’d catch me everytime i fell. I dont have that unconditional love anymore and that feels so bad but i have to learn to live a different way of life now. I as you will, will always have moments of hurt just wanting them to be here with us i dont think that will ever leave us but i keep the knowledge of how loved i was, protected and had the best life with them.
We are all here for eachother on here whenever you need us to give words of comfort…sending lots of hugs to you…take care

Thank you so much for your message, it’s lovely to talk to someone who really understands. I do have lovely supportive people around me but don’t really want to burden them with my grief & my husband, supportive as he is, keeps telling me the same things you said, well at least they’re together & he doesn’t like to see me cry. It’s just the dread of the first anniversary, I just feel like saying ok I’ve done a year without them, can I have them back again!
I really appreciate you taking the time to message me, I do feel like my feelings are validated x

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