Mum and dad

My mum was killed in 2016 I was the first one on the scene because I lived across the street from her helping her out she was murdered by my dad on May 11 2016 it’s going to be 7 years for her and I still wake up around the time she was killed 5:10-5:30 every day like clock works the next blow I took was my dad passing in 2021 when he killed my mum I already lost everything everything was taken from me because of him I never thought I would hate the man that I loved so much but what he did to my mum and family started brewing such hate for him when he passed away I didn’t tell anyone for a few hours I was stuck I was shocked I was sad angry but most of all I was at peace because he wasn’t suffering any more my dad was suffering soooo much with drug addiction and mental health issues he was in a dark place all the time extremely violent towards people extremely suicidal towards him self I was left with so many more questions that I know will never be fulfilled because they are both gone I don’t speak to his side of the family and my mum’s side passed even before I was born I feel alone abandoned sad let down you guys understand my birthday is in 2 weeks and this will be my 2nd with no calls from either parent I wish he was able to get himself help the way he got me help I feel so responsible for what he did to my mum and his self destructive ways I was always his light he told me everything me and dad where best friends he left me with such a void such a hole in my heart I hope some one can relate to this and we can throw light on each other

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Hello @Msmaldonado, thank you for bravely sharing your story with us. It sounds like you’ve been through so much. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and your dad.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I also wanted to share a few links with you in case you think some extra support could be helpful right now.
SAMM (Support after Murder and Manslaughter) is a registered charity offering support to those bereaved by murder or manslaughter. You can visit their website at They have a helpline on 0121 472 2912 or you text them on 07342 888570.

If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. We have also recently launched a Grief Guide Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. If you’re interested in understanding more about grief and how you can manage it, please visit

Take good care and keep reaching out,