In January 2012 my life fell apart when I lost the one man that would ever love me unconditionally my dad. He didn’t die of cancer but it rocked my whole life then in June 2012 my world was turned upside down yet again when my mum who had fought cancer for 13yrs decided enough was enough and passed away. I thought my life could not get any worse then in jun 2013 my only brother and youngest of us five was diagnosed with a brain tumour and lung cancer he struggled with it for six months but sadly left us heart broken on 27th Jan 2014 I never got chance to grieve for any of them because I had my kids to keep strong for and I look at it as there all together which is how they was before all this sadness you never ever forget them but would they really want us sad all the time. I feel for anyone that is going through this and I’ve helped a few friends through it by listening keep strong you can do it if I can you can x
What a lot to go through in such a short space of time. It happens a lot that people feel they don’t have a chance to grieve when there are children to look after and take care of. This can seem like a good thing - keeping busy and distracted from what’s happening, but it can sometimes catch up with you. I’ve said to a few other people on the community that sometimes it’s important to be a little selfish and make time to ensure you’re helping yourself.
It’s a really good point to think about what your loved ones would think - they certainly wouldn’t want to you stay sad, and I think this would be the same for everyone.
So good that you’ve been there for others to listen and help out. We’re really grateful to you for sharing your advice and experiences - I’m sure that others will read what you’ve said and find if helpful and comforting.
They need to deal with there grief as I’ve told others or they’ll end up like me. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy and living life but because I’ve not dealt with it I’ve not slept properly since they passed and I now have chronic pain syndrome which my doctors think it’s because of all the trauma and keeping it bottled up. So don’t be like me let it out or you’ll make yourself poorly. I hope reading my story does help and makes it easier for those that are going through what I have stay strong but cry when you need too x