Hi my mum died in april and i am still very emotional about it. I have just in the last day or 2 found out my dad is dating another lady already im so mad and disgusted that he could get over my mu so quick. I dont know what to say when my dad finally tells me or if i want to be a oart of it . Am i been nasty?
Hi Ladybugz,
I’m sorry to hear that your mum died in April and that you’re still feeling very emotional about it. Losing a parent is very significant so it’s understandable that you’re feeling this way.
Grief is a very personal thing and we all deal with it in different ways. Finding companionship may well be how your dad is coping with his loss, rather than it being a sign that’s he’s already ‘over’ your mum. I understand that this news must have come as a shock to you, particularly as it sounds like it came through someone else instead of directly from you dad. Perhaps having a chat with your dad would help you both think about your loss and what the future looks like? How does that sound to you?
Take care of yourself and let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.
Eleanor
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Hello, I am very sorry about your mum and you have every right to feel lost and sad and emotional, that’s grieving. It’s a bad time for all of us and your dad will be feeling the grief, he can’t not be. Talk to him and find out what’s going on but if he is dating, please think, why? We all do things differently and he just might what female company, helping him to face the real life that he will now have.
I have a friend who’s father did do this and she couldn’t believe what he was doing but he felt that he couldn’t go out anywhere on his own so he took his wife’s best friend, even just weekly shopping. When my friend found out she then felt bad because she could have been doing it with him but he didn’t want his daughter. It was all very sad, now around 2 years on things are all sorted and they are all ok but he’s still struggling.
Please talk to him but keep a open mind.
Bless you both. S
I agree with you it’s too soon even out of respect for your mum and his family. If you love someone you can’t just replace them. Sorry for you
Hi Ladybugz, I understand your upset at this.
In a book I was reading (Grief Works) the author said it’s common for men to find another partner quite quickly.
As Eleanor wisely said, have a chat with him about it.
Sending hugs x
When My first Wife died in 1983, leaving me with 4 children aged 13, 10, 8 and 3, my Mother-in-Law came to me after Her funeral and told me to find someone else soon because the Children needed a Mother figure. Whether You waited 1 week or 10 years, someone would say it was wrong! I don’t think that there is a rule book in that situation.
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You are very right that there’s no rule book but it goes for grieving in general. Anyone who says things like one year, two years everything will be back to normal. For a start, there is no normal and then everyone is different and rule books don’t apply.
Ladybugz, I do hope you have talked to your father because it will be only the way to know what is going through his mind. You will always miss your mum and like all of us on this site some days are worst than others. Look after yourself, that’s the first and last thing you must do.
LuciferSam, you don’t say what you did, Anniversaries are difficult but I am pleased you had those years together but it is never long enough.
Love and blessings to you all. S
When my Mom died 15 years ago my Dad was compleatly lost.
I found a bereavement club for him , reluctantly he went but soon started to enjoy the company and companionship he found there with like minded people who had all lost their partner.
He went out with them both men and women , they had meals together holidays lots of fun.
But that never made up for losing his wife .
It just helped ease the pain and loneliness.